The writer who never publishes.
The runner who avoids competition.
The entrepreneur who never launches a product.
What’s the one thing you’re avoiding very hard, but if you’d do it anyway, your life would get much easier?
Believing that it’s possible your wildest dreams can become reality is just as irrational as believing that it’s impossible.
Irrational, but not equal, because one leads to creation, the other to stagnation.
Choose wisely.
When chasing fame leads to your own kids not remembering your name.
When chasing love leads to fear of being alone.
When chasing success leads to loneliness.
It may be necessary.
It may be good.
It may be worth it.
As long as you’re aware there’s always a sacrifice to make.
Some days I have ten ideas to write about. Some days, zero.
But when I lack ideas to write about, the ideas aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from accessing the insights.
When I feel lonely, friends and family I can connect with aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from connecting with them.
Scarcity is like pollution.
When noise pollution of cars, planes and construction machines drown out the singing of the birds, the birds aren’t really gone. I just can’t hear them.
When light pollution drowns out the stars, they’re not really gone. I just can’t see them.
So how do I get out of scarcity? How do I reduce pollution?
Here’s what works for me:
Notice I’m in scarcity mode. Then move. Meditate. Do stream-of-consciousness journaling.
Then find a place where I hear the birds.
Find a place where I can see the stars.
Write anyway.
And connect with friends and family anyway.
Now is the time to put my heart on the line.
Because whatever I do at this very moment is a direct vote for who I want to be.
But before I let the gravity of the moment paralyze me, I realize – this is not my first vote, and it won’t be my last.
Another present moment will soon arrive, and with the passing of time, another opportunity to put my heart on the line.
Too much pressure on one moment leads to perfectionism and paralysis.
Too much focus on “this one moment doesn’t matter” leads to defeatism and lethargy.
Be intentional about the present moment because it’s the only vote you can directly influence.
Then be aware of the aggregate of your actions because your identity emerges from the majority of your votes.
Who do you choose to be?
You can choose what success in your life looks like.
And if you make your daily successes achievable enough so you feel successful every day, guess what: you’re a successful person now.
There’s a reason it’s called Tiny Trust Builders, not massive out-of-reach Trust Builders.
So celebrate that one-minute workout you did.
That one sentence you wrote today.
That one new word you learned in a new language.
That one time you didn’t give in to cravings.
Because daily Tiny Trust Builders create massive momentum and massive self-trust.
And I don’t know about you, my friend, but I’d rather feel successful every day than like a failure because those good feelings will carry over in all other aspirations and relationships.
Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).
Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.
There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.
I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.
I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.
I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.
Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.
Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.
So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.
The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.
