What’s the one Tiny Trust Builder you can do for yourself; one little thing thing that makes you feel good about yourself, and because you feel good, you’re good to other around you too?
What’s that one small constraint YOU decide to put on your day that, when protected fiercely, makes everything else so much better?
And if you know it makes everything better and you aren’t protecting it fiercely yet – why not?
Could you start today?
If you think you know how to write a story but never do it, do you really know how to write a story?
If you think you know how to do a yoga pose but never do it, do you really know how to do that yoga pose?
If you think you know how to apologize for a mistake but never do it, do you really know how to apologize?
If you know what you want to do but aren’t doing it, do you really know what you want?
Because hidden beneath your goals and technical step-by-step instructions to accomplish them, there’s an obstacle course of personal context, personal beliefs, past experiences, and emotions.
And these, you won’t discover in books or videos.
These, you’ll encounter by doing.
And these, you’ll conquer by doing.
So you say you want to be a writer?
Show me one daily action that proves that’s true.So you say you value connection with family and friends?
Show me one daily action that demonstrates you do.So you say you want to learn a foreign language?
Show me one daily action. Show me you’ll follow through.Show me one daily action. Not for me. But for you.
For you to start believing you care.
That your dreams and desires aren’t just castles in the air.
That you dare to build an identity that supports your values and aspirations.
Because actions overrule thoughts.
Actions form (or break) beliefs.
Actions aligned with your values build trust in your good intentions, and change your identity.
One action a day. That’s all it takes.
Lukas Van Vyve
Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.
But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.
Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.
When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.
And so the pressure mounts.
Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.
Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.
Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.
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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).
Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.
Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.
Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.
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Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.
Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.
Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.
Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.
“Write 3 pages of Stream of Consciousness journaling.”
“Coming up with 100 things to be grateful about.”
“Publish a daily insight.”
My initial reaction, and maybe yours, is, “That’s so much.”
And that’s exactly the point.
It IS a lot.
But actually, it isn’t.
And when you try it out, and see that it isn’t, you’ve shattered the illusion of scarcity and discovered abundance.
Maybe we humans are wired to believe in scarcity and fighting over sparse food.
And while that may serve us well, in many endeavors, there’s much more abundance than we think.
If your gut reaction was, “That’s so much,” I invite you to try it out.
Write down what the voice in your head talks about for 3 entire pages.
Write down 100 things you’re grateful for.
Challenge the scarcity mindset.
There may well be abundance on the other side.
You could always do more of something.
But maybe you don’t have to.
Maybe what you’re doing is already enough.
Maybe you’re already enough.
And everything else is extra.
Perfectionism is the perfect excuse for not showing up.
If you don’t publish because you’re waiting for the perfect blog post, you’ll hide behind your desk forever – because there’ll always be something you can improve.
If you don’t go for a walk because you’re waiting for the perfect weather, you’ll be stuck forever inside – because there’ll always be a day with more sunshine or a nicer breeze.
If you wait to live the life you desire until you have the perfect age, amount of money, degree, or partner, you’ll wait until it’s too late to enjoy your life in the first place.
If you know things will never be perfect anyway, and you’re not allowed to wait until they’re perfect, or even until they’re “good enough”…
What could you start doing today? What have you been putting off?
