#292 The obstacle course hidden beneath your goals

ByLukas
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If you think you know how to write a story but never do it, do you really know how to write a story?

If you think you know how to do a yoga pose but never do it, do you really know how to do that yoga pose?

If you think you know how to apologize for a mistake but never do it, do you really know how to apologize?

If you know what you want to do but aren’t doing it, do you really know what you want?

Because hidden beneath your goals and technical step-by-step instructions to accomplish them, there’s an obstacle course of personal context, personal beliefs, past experiences, and emotions.

And these, you won’t discover in books or videos.

These, you’ll encounter by doing.

And these, you’ll conquer by doing.

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    #133 How to Get Irrefutable Proof of Progress

    ByLukas

    “Getting better” at something is not a linear process.

    You can practice every day and not see any progress.

    In fact, you can practice every day and notice deterioration.

    But it’s impossible to practice every day without building the self-trust that you have the discipline to practice every day.

    I might not have clear proof that I’m becoming a better writer, but I have irrefutable proof that I wrote today, yesterday, and the past 138 days.

    And because I write every day, the evidence is building that I am, in fact, a writer.

    As my actions shift my identity, the probability that I’ll keep writing increases.

    And as long as I keep writing, the probability of writing better work increases.

    Tiny Trust Builders are the only reliable proof of progress.

  • #209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap

    ByLukas

    Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

    But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

    Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

    When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

    And so the pressure mounts.

    Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

    Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

    Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

    —

    To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

    Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

    Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

    Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

    —

    Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

    Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

    Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

    Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

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    #58 Pre-verbal

    ByLukas

    There used to be a time when you didn’t have words for your feelings. You just felt them.

    You didn’t have words to say that your parents are your parents. You just knew it.

    You didn’t have words for the sounds other humans made. Like singing birds, a buzzing bumblebee, or a rolling thunder, it was all just vibrating air.

    What was your experience of reality like before words started categorizing, abstracting and limiting what you could see, hear, touch and feel?

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    #186 The hour of misery

    ByLukas

    Not all tasks and activities we must do feel fulfilling or rewarding. There’s no way out of busy work.

    But we can avoid prioritizing and attracting it to the expense of work that matters.

    Enter the hour of misery.

    One hour of busy work and chores a day.

    60 minutes. Not more. But also not less.

    If, after 60 minutes of misery, you feel like you should do much more, it’s time to realign priorities.

    Delegate.

    OR come to terms with the fact that you’ll never finish the pile of busy work tasks – then carry on with the important stuff anyway.

    After all, tomorrow’s another day.

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