#322 The naysayer in your head

When it comes to habits, our actions in the present make future present moments more (or less) likely.

Do I journal today? That’s a vote for my journaling identity – which increases the likelihood of another journaling moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

Do I check Instagram today? That’s a vote for my Instagram-browsing identity – which increases the likelihood of another Instagram moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

Have I journaled 700 days in a row? I can say quite confidently I’ll journal again tomorrow. Massive predictive power.

So how do change the future?

Weaken the predictive power of one habit – stop taking the actions you want to change.

Strengthen the predictive power of a new habit – intentionally start taking different actions, and let every present moment be a vote for that new habit (and new identity).

The process is challenging and slow.

You’ll need patience.

Willpower to resist the pull of habits that have already accumulated tremendous predictive power.

You’ll need presence of mind and perseverance to choose new actions because you know they’re important to you.

It’s challenging. Slow. And worth it.

Because this is how you make the future yours.

There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence when you’re passionate about something.

But being passionate doesn’t come with an obligation to be – or even try to become – good.

It’s fine to write for the sake of writing, not to write a bestseller novel.
Paint for the sake of painting, not to be the next Picasso.
Run for the sake of running, not to finish a marathon.

I don’t need to be good at this today.

And some things I just never need to be good at.

You always have a choice.

Achieving an outcome without the daily actions that lead to an identity shift is empty and unsustainable.

I may want to publish a book. But if someone writes the whole book without my input and I put my name on it in the end, do I deserve to call it my book?

I have a book. But I’m not a writer. And I’m not an author.

I may want to have a million dollars. But if tomorrow I win the lottery or receive a large inheritance without any action from my side, what does that mean?

I have a million dollars. But I’m not wealthy – and research suggests that without proper guidance, I’ll spend it all, ending up back at square one.

It works the other way around, too. You can blindly chase an outcome (or slip into bad habits) without considering how the actions you need to take to get there will change you as a person.

Depending on your actions to get there, chasing fame can make you happy – or very unhappy. Writing a book can make you happy or very unhappy. Building a hugely successful company can make you happy or very unhappy.

The value, satisfaction, and resentment are all in the actions, not the outcome.