#252 The Identity is the Outcome

The future I want to see affects the present I create.

And so does the future I don’t want to see.

Do I let fear of what could go wrong reign my day?

Or excitement about what could be?

Whatever I choose, I may well end up proving myself right.

Getting worked up about traffic jams is not pleasant, but it’s predictable. And addictive.

So is giving up on writing a book, quitting a workout regime, and re-living any conflict or failure.

Not pleasant. But predictable.

This is how you’ve always felt. And this is how you’ll always feel – unless you become aware of the unpleasant, predictable, addictive patterns and decide to act differently.

Not only once, not twice, but every time you become aware of the pattern until you’ve built enough self-trust that you know the unpleasant predictable events aren’t inevitable.

No one is bad at sticking to habits.

Because everyone’s day-to-day life is stitched together with recurring activities anyway, whether you consciously choose to do them or not.

Maybe you brush your teeth every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.

Maybe you wash your hands before every meal – and that has become a non-negotiable.

Maybe you shower every morning right after waking up – and that has become a non-negotiable.

Maybe you write every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.

Maybe you practice yoga three times a week – and that has become a non-negotiable.

Maybe you spend 10 minutes daily catching up with family, friends, acquaintances, or relatives you haven’t seen in a while – and that has become a non-negotiable.

Habits are habits.

And that has an interesting consequence:

If you can do that, you can also do this.

Do you really want to write a book? Or do you actually want to dream about writing a book?

Do you really want to drop everything and move to a sea-side town? Or do you want to dream about dropping everything and move to a sea-side town?

Both are fine. Both can be fulfilling, because often, having a dream is enough.

But both are not the same.

Only you will know if it’s the dream that makes you happy, or the action you want to take.

Intentional living is about reminding yourself of what’s most important to you.

Reminding yourself that you can choose to be a writer, a runner, a musician, an artist, or a bon vivant.

Reminding yourself that you can choose to be kind to others.

Reminding yourself that you have a choice to act differently.

Reminding yourself that the past does not equal the future.

Reminding yourself that this, too, shall pass.

Reminding yourself that at any given moment, whatever reminder you need the most, you likely won’t think of yourself.

Reminding yourself that for this reason, it’s OK to get help and let someone else remind you with short daily notes.

And me, reminding myself that the act of writing daily reminders for you is the reminder I need to remember that I do, in fact, choose to be consistent, and I choose to be a writer.

Reminders upon reminders upon reminders that we will constantly get distracted, and we will always have the choice to come back to what truly matters.