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    #286 You are not the words you write

    When you know you are not the words you write, you can write more freely.

    When you know you are not the time you run in your marathon, you can run more freely.

    When you know you are not your pain, you can let it be the without thinking it’ll never go away.

    And when you know you are not your love either, you can enjoy it fully without being afraid to lose it.

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    #100 There are by-products. And then there’s what matters.

    The moment you stop doing things for what they can give you, and start doing things for who you become through doing them, is the moment you get everything you ever wanted.

    Lukas Van Vyve

    I don’t write a blog post every day just to have a pile of posts on the blog.

    I write because writing is what makes me a writer. And I enjoy being a writer very much.

    The blog posts are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.


    I don’t practice Stream Of Consciousness journaling every day to write beautiful prose, poems or have amazing insights.

    I do it because it calms the mind. Because my life is better with it than without.

    And because doing something for 700 days straight shows me that I, too, am becoming a disciplined person. And I enjoy being a disciplined person very much.

    The occasional insights are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.


    I don’t practice the guitar so I can show the world how well I play.

    I play because it’s fun to practice something hard and feel a sense of improvement.

    And because practicing the guitar makes me a musician. And I enjoy being a musician very much.

    Being able to play a beautiful piece is just a by-product. Pleasant. But a byproduct.


    There are by-products. And then there’s what matters.

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    #91 Now is not the time to negotiate

    I commit to taking a cold shower. To publish a daily blog post. To do a yoga class, because these actions contribute to my vision for who I want to be.

    I commit, despite the knowledge that when the time has come, right before I turn the shower tap to cold, I won’t want to take a cold shower.

    That right before I start writing an article, my mind will throw a million distractios at me.

    That right before my yoga workout, my mind will start negotiating with itself, coming up with reasons why I’d better do something else.

    “Today it’s cold outside, what if I start tomorrow?”
    “I don’t feel like it today, maybe I’ll just write two articles tomorrow?”
    “{{insert any excuse my mind makes up to avoid short-term discomfort}}

    But now is not the time to negotiate.

    Do I choose the long-term pain of regret over the short-term pain of discipline?

    Do I choose to cultivate a procrastinator identity, or do I become a go-getter?

    Who do I want (and choose) to be?

    I can evaluate and adjust my plan afterwards.

    But now is not the time to negotiate.

  • #212 Your beacon of trust

    835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

    It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

    Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

    None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

    The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

    Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

    It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

    It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

    In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

    And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

    I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

    And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

    P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

    After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

    You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

    Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

    P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

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