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  • #331 Building habits the lazy way

    Some people think they can’t build habits because they’re lazy.

    Maybe we all are – so we might as well make laziness the key to building habits.

    I write only one short daily post because I know I won’t stick to writing long-form posts – and when I feel like writing long-form, it doesn’t feel like an obligation but a treat. Laziness built the writing habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I write more.

    I do 5-minute daily meditations because I know I won’t stick to 30-minute meditation as a habit – yet when I DO meditate for 30 minutes, it feels like a treat. Laziness built the meditation habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I meditate more.

    If you are so sure you won’t stick to anything overly ambitious, what’s the laziest way you could implement a behavior change? Can you use that as your starting point to build life-changing habits?

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    #267 Why intensity fades and consistency leads to change

    When you write 50 pages a day, only to be forced to recover for a month.

    When you start running 5 miles a day without any preparation, only to end up injured.

    When you start studying a language for 5 hours a day, only to give up after a week.

    When you fly so close to the sun, your wings melt.

    When intensity and excitement radiate too brightly, and the reality of life suddenly slaps you in the face.

    That’s when you start appreciating the slow, steady flame of consistency that burns long and becomes brighter over time.

    And that’s when you’ll see lasting change.

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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #147 Purposeful Passion vs Compulsive Addiction

    Working on your business so hard you neglect your health – and end up in bed with a burnout.

    Being so absorbed with selflessly helping others you forget to set boundaries – and end up drained and resentful.

    Being so focused on the practice your neglect your friends and family – and you end up lonely.


    The line between purposeful passion and compulsive addiction is thin.

    This is where trust building comes in.

    Building trust in your intentions – so you verify that your actions benefit you and your environment.

    Building trust in your self-awareness – so you notice when you cross over in compulsive obsession space, and pull yourself back into purposeful passion territory.

    Building trust in the people around you – so you listen to them when they see you’re slipping, and you let them help you get back on the right path.


    Trust is a beacon of light, keeping you on track.

    What will you do today to protect and fuel it?

    Tiny Trust Builders.

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