#280 Sway with the day-to-day

We all live in a maze of mistranslations and misunderstandings about who we think you are and who others think we are.

Now, by lack of a way to know who we truly are, misunderstandings can be comforting, my friend; there’s no doubt about that.

But when you get so lost in the maze that it causes suffering, it might be time to start mending the misunderstandings.

Could it be that mending is nothing more than making another mistranslation about who we are that makes us happier?

After all, I can perceive myself as a struggling writer or a skilled wordsmith – both perspectives hold their truths.

It’s the power of our misunderstandings that molds our reality.

In the moment, I don’t feel like a yoga pose comes easy to me – until I look back to how it felt 6 months ago.

In the moment, I don’t really feel like particularly good writer – until I look back on how hard it was to write these daily insights a year ago.

You don’t need to see progress every single day to know that you’re getting better.

Because the things that truly matter often change so slowly that you don’t notice them… unless you take the time to reflect on them.

Changes too small to notice today become impossible to ignore when they stack up.

Which conclusions did I draw from past experiences?

Have I overreacted to petty events, and ignored beautiful moments?

Have I deleted memories? Maybe invented some?

Have I built stories based on generalizations?

Most importantly: how does the past I still feel affect my actions today?

And if I know a lot of it was my own interpretation… could I change my past, or at least what it means to me?

Would that set me free?

I was undoubtedly in a pensive mood when writing this.

I guess, given the daily letters I send you, you might conclude I’m in a pensive mood every day.

And you wouldn’t be wrong.

But pensive moods can be useful – when they’re coupled with conclusions and insights. Maybe even with Tiny Trust Builders.

And if any of these questions help you re-interpret your past and set you free, too, I’ll be a happy man.

A wistful win-win.

When it comes to habits, our actions in the present make future present moments more (or less) likely.

Do I journal today? That’s a vote for my journaling identity – which increases the likelihood of another journaling moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

Do I check Instagram today? That’s a vote for my Instagram-browsing identity – which increases the likelihood of another Instagram moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

Have I journaled 700 days in a row? I can say quite confidently I’ll journal again tomorrow. Massive predictive power.

So how do change the future?

Weaken the predictive power of one habit – stop taking the actions you want to change.

Strengthen the predictive power of a new habit – intentionally start taking different actions, and let every present moment be a vote for that new habit (and new identity).

The process is challenging and slow.

You’ll need patience.

Willpower to resist the pull of habits that have already accumulated tremendous predictive power.

You’ll need presence of mind and perseverance to choose new actions because you know they’re important to you.

It’s challenging. Slow. And worth it.

Because this is how you make the future yours.