#9 Striking gold

ByLukas

I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
I write, re-write
and never am I satisfied.

I get closer, or so I think
And then the next day, I jump back in
and instantly sink.

I need answers…
Even though deep down I know,
the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

Yet, I have to try.

Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

How? I don’t know.

When? I don’t know.

Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

Anyway.

Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
and write in peace.

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    #265 Dance the barbell balance of life

    ByLukas

    Living a balanced life doesn’t mean living average experiences.

    It’s more like a barbell, or a seesaw, where you go all in on complementary actions.

    Work hard, rest hard.

    Write with total focus, then fully let go when you’ve hit your word target.

    Work out with full intensity, then let your body fully recover.

    So when you’re out of balance, the solution is not to come closer to the middle.

    Instead, you start doing less of what you’re already doing or add more of the polar opposite of what you’re already doing.

    Figure out your polar opposite pairs, and give them both the attention they deserve. That’s how you dance the barbell balance of life.

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    #78 Unconscious categorization

    ByLukas

    Within a split second, I’ve categorized an object as an apple. Now I don’t pay attention to the dimensions, color, smell, and texture anymore.

    Within a split second, I’ve categorized an emotion as anger, fear, frustration, love. So I don’t pay attention to the physiological changes in my body anymore.

    I’m always categorizing – but I didn’t consciously create the categories.

    But what if I’m categorizing inaccurately?

    Can I interrupt instant categorization, governed by language, habits, patterns, past experience?

    Can I re-open my senses and see, smell, touch, hear, feel again?

    Can I start sensing nuances between the objects I behold?

    Can I discern nuances between the feelings I feel?

    Mindfulness, journaling, meditation, and learning languages can help with more conscious categorization.

    Because what if the anger I feel is nothing but fear?

    What if the fear I feel is nothing but frustration?

    What if the frustration I feel is nothing but unrequited love?

    And what if the love I feel is nothing but infatuation?

  • #546 The easiest path to where you want to go

    ByLukas

    The easiest path is to miss all days – you never get going in the first place so you don’t know what you’re missing.

    The second easiest is to never miss a day – you’ll get where you want to go with little detours, even if you pay the cost of discipline.

    The hardest (and most common) path is to miss a couple of days here and there – now you run the risk of getting lost.

    We all miss a day sometimes – so we all get a little lost once in a while.

    So what do we do?

    We remind ourselves why we got started.

    We remind ourselves where we’re going.

    We remind ourselves that we’ve been lost before – and that we can always get back on track.

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