#512 Stay the course, every day

We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.

If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.

If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.

If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.

If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.

If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.

Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.

Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.

Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?

In the pursuit of our ambitions, we often create intricate plans, detailed routines, and exhaustive checklists.

But when these complexities start to feel more like obstacles than aids, it might be time to strip things back.

Where are you overcomplicating? Is it in the planning, the execution, or perhaps the goal itself?

Seeking the simplest way is not always the easiest. But more often than not, it’s the most effective.

When it comes to habits, our actions in the present make future present moments more (or less) likely.

Do I journal today? That’s a vote for my journaling identity – which increases the likelihood of another journaling moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

Do I check Instagram today? That’s a vote for my Instagram-browsing identity – which increases the likelihood of another Instagram moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

Have I journaled 700 days in a row? I can say quite confidently I’ll journal again tomorrow. Massive predictive power.

So how do change the future?

Weaken the predictive power of one habit – stop taking the actions you want to change.

Strengthen the predictive power of a new habit – intentionally start taking different actions, and let every present moment be a vote for that new habit (and new identity).

The process is challenging and slow.

You’ll need patience.

Willpower to resist the pull of habits that have already accumulated tremendous predictive power.

You’ll need presence of mind and perseverance to choose new actions because you know they’re important to you.

It’s challenging. Slow. And worth it.

Because this is how you make the future yours.

I guess all I really want to say today is:

There’s something you’re doing great at.

There always is.

Can you see it?

The moment you accept you don’t feel like writing today and tell yourself that’s fine, is the moment you’ll write again.

Because you can only know and do what’s best for you when you stop fighting yourself.