#542 Go slow, slow, slow
Go slow, slow, slow
Until all the friction has dissolved
Life is back in flow
Then let go.
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#292 The obstacle course hidden beneath your goals
ByLukasIf you think you know how to write a story but never do it, do you really know how to write a story?
If you think you know how to do a yoga pose but never do it, do you really know how to do that yoga pose?
If you think you know how to apologize for a mistake but never do it, do you really know how to apologize?
If you know what you want to do but aren’t doing it, do you really know what you want?
Because hidden beneath your goals and technical step-by-step instructions to accomplish them, there’s an obstacle course of personal context, personal beliefs, past experiences, and emotions.
And these, you won’t discover in books or videos.
These, you’ll encounter by doing.
And these, you’ll conquer by doing.
#473 Accept it when it comes and when it goes
ByLukasFlawed. Perfect. Inspired. Spiritless. Excited. Defeated. Exhilirated. Gloomy.
Maybe the key is to accept all states when they come and when they go.
#24 Put your actions where your mouth is
ByLukasHere’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:
Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.
https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.
Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.
As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.
And that’s how we get out of a rut.
(The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)
Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:
- First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
“I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.” - Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
“Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session. - Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots. - At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.
Which begs the question…
Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?
Lukas Van VyvePut your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.
- First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
#281 How to know what to write and why
ByLukasTo know what you’re going to write, you have to begin writing.
Similarly, to know why you’re writing, you have to begin writing.
The lure towards writing is what sets you in motion.
And so it goes for drawing. Singing. Building. Entrepreneurship. Creating. Meeting friends. Lovers. Life partners.
The act itself is what reveals both the purpose and the shape.
#68 The sitcom comparison
ByLukasWatching a sitcom or soap opera episode takes 20 minutes – and somehow, we always seem to find time for it.
Doing some stretches or a quick workout can take as little as 15 minutes – yet somehow, it’s very hard to find time for it.
Many good habits take take less time than watching a sitcom – and during and after, they’re often quite enjoyable. But our mind makes it so hard to start.
Whenever something that’s good for you feels insurmountable and your mind starts playing tricks on you, put it into perspective.
Doing this thing will take less time than watching a sitcom.
Maybe I could even do it while watching the sitcom.
And doing it will be a vote for the person I want to become.
#541 This prevents you from creating the future you desire
ByLukasDo you want to fear a future you resent, or focus on a future you create in the present?
Do you even want to know what happens next, if all it does is blind you from what happens right now?
Do you want to focus on a future you fear, if it prevents you from building what’s important, right now, right here?