It’s fine to go slow and steady until you’re ready to go faster.
And even when you’re ready to go faster, it’s still fine to go slow and steady.
Slow and steady, so you have the space to listen to the sounds.
Slow and steady, so you have time to look around.
Slow and steady, so you don’t burn out.
Slow and steady, so you enjoy the journey.
Slow and steady.
Always moving.
Always in flow.
Always ready.
When you go slow and steady.
The other day you asked about my favorite words.
But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.
Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.
Consider this one:
“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“
This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.
And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.
“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”
Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:
“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”
How would I feel about myself…
How would I look at myself?
What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?
Which obstacles would I have conquered?
Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”
And just like that, with my imagination set free
internal resistance melting away
off I go
finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.
P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.
Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?
P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:
Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?
Day 20 of my daily publishing experiment. What I’ve learned (or remembered) so far:
In short, a pattern I’ve observed many time in the past years is playing out again:
When I start defying my own excuses by taking action, no matter how small, my self-trust grows, my self-image shifts, and I become more of the person I want to be.
Which begs the question:
Where else am I frustrated, holding on to a static identity of the past that I could prove wrong by taking action?
The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant.
Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”
That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.
Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?
Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?
Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?
Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?
I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization.
Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.
But even if they were, it doesn’t matter.
Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.
Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”
Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.
Even when the cure is available, we never let our body heal, because what would we do if we couldn’t complain about our ailments anymore?
Even when true love presents itself, we push it away, because what would we do if we can’t complain about partners leaving us anymore?
Even when friends and family show support, we don’t allow it, because what would we do if we can’t say anymore that everyone is out to screw us over?
Would we rather stay stubborn? Would we rather stay comfortable in our uncomfortable misconceptions?
It’s fine to give up on something you started.
It’s a pity to not even start because you’re scared you’ll give up.
Don’t let the fear of giving up stop you from getting started.
And don’t let the fear of failing stop you from getting started either.
One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:
If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.
In other words: actions overrule thoughts.
We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.
Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.
The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.
Which begs the question:
Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.
