#93 Second-Hand Memories and Trust Issues

ByLukas
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Memory stores the lessons we extract from learn life experience. And to do so, it relies, modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

What about second-hand memories? Accounts of past events we didn’t experience ourselves, wars, volcano eruptions, scientific discoveries,…

For knowledge to accumulate, to stand on the shoulders of giants, we need to transmit such lessons too. Not just as data or accounts of the past – also as memories.

But transmitting second-hand memories require trust.

Can we rely on the interpretation of others?

Who do we allow to control the narrative?

Parents? Elders? Teachers? Governments and politicians?

YouTubers? Influencers? Bloggers? Twitter gurus?

AI models and chatbots?

Objective data doesn’t exist. Objective memories don’t exist either. So if we can’t trust second-hand memories anymore, collective memory and our whole learning model collapses.

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    #103 Show me one daily action

    ByLukas

    So you say you want to be a writer?
    Show me one daily action that proves that’s true.

    So you say you value connection with family and friends?
    Show me one daily action that demonstrates you do.

    So you say you want to learn a foreign language?
    Show me one daily action. Show me you’ll follow through.

    Show me one daily action. Not for me. But for you.

    For you to start believing you care.

    That your dreams and desires aren’t just castles in the air.

    That you dare to build an identity that supports your values and aspirations.

    Because actions overrule thoughts.

    Actions form (or break) beliefs.

    Actions aligned with your values build trust in your good intentions, and change your identity.

    One action a day. That’s all it takes.

    Lukas Van Vyve

  • #341 Think smaller

    ByLukas

    If doing your Tiny Trust Builder feels impossible today, it’s not tiny enough.

    Write one paragraph, not one blog post.

    Write one sentence, not one paragraph.

    Write one word, not one sentence.

    Write one letter, not one word.

    Write whatever feels achievable to you, until you arrive at something you can do every day.

    Think smaller, until you notice the insurmountable suddenly feels achievable.

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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    ByLukas

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #156 Making the future just a little brighter

    ByLukas

    A compelling vision of who I want to be doesn’t just guide my present actions and brings me toward a fulfilling future.

    It also helps me deal with the suffering that’s part of living in a complex physical body with a complex mind in a complex society in a complex, uncontrollable world.

    Because no matter how strong my vision or purpose is, and no matter what I do or say, inevitable hardship will happen anyway.

    So if I know why I’m doing what I do, why I’m going where I go, and why I’m becoming who I want to be, then hopefully, when life gets rough, I’ll react in a better way.

    I’ll trust myself to handle the unavoidable suffering.

    I’ll trust myself to minimize how much I add to the suffering.

    And that makes the future just a little bit brighter for me, everyone, and everything around me.

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