#499 Scared to a fault

Nobody chooses to get addicted to social media.

We chose to get something of value: stay connected with friends. Stay up-to-date. Discover interesting voices.

Then we get addicted through features that bring little value: likes, notification signs, flashy videos hijacking our brains. That’s where the addiction creeps up to you.

If the interests of social media apps (make you spend as much time as possible on the platform) start deviating so much from the original reason we started using them…

Is massive addiction worth the minimal value?

A memory is what we decide to remember from an experience – and what we decide to delete and forget.

Intuition is the instant hunch we get after we’ve repeatedly created memories from experiences; the moment we don’t need the conscious memory anymore.

A small (or unrepresentative) sample size leads to inaccurate intuition.

If I’m betrayed three times in my life and have created strong memories around that, my intuition whenever meeting anyone else may be that they’ll betray me too. Three bad experiences have shaped, and skewed, my relationship to billions of others.

How to develop accurate intuition?

The more memories we create, the bigger the “sample size” for our intuition to emerge from, and the smaller the weight of “outlier events” (like being betrayed).

The more deliberately we create these memories, the more deliberately we hone intuition.

Create more memories. And create them deliberately.

The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant. 

Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.

Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?

Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?

Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?

Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?

I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization. 

Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.

But even if they were, it doesn’t matter. 

Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.

Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”

Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.