When the thought of writing pops up, don’t wait for your mind to come up with excuses. Write.
When you want to go for a run, run.
When you think of someone, let them know.
You may not want to act on all your first impulses.
But deep down, you know which ones are good for you.
And you don’t want to second-guess those.
When everything is urgent, how do we know what to do first?
One solution is adding more nuance:
What’s the most urgent?
What’s the most important?
Breathing is urgent.
A crying child is urgent.
A toilet visit can be urgent.
Sending that email out tonight right before bed instead of tomorrow, maybe not so much?
Here’s the important question:
If you’re going to prioritize the urgent matters anyway, why stress yourself out by calling everything urgent in the first place?
Making everything urgent devalues truly urgent matters.
Because when everything is urgent, nothing is urgent anymore.
Whenever you set out to establish a new habit, there’s often a nagging thought at the back of your mind wondering, “When will you quit this time?”
But the naysayer in your head that has had free reign for all these years can’t be silenced.
They can only be proven wrong.
“You expect me to quit? Watch me.”
“Say whatever you want; I am showing up today.”
Tiny Trust Builders, day after day, until the naysayer admits, “I was wrong. You’re not that person anymore.”
First, build trust in your good intentions. In other words: take actions that are “votes for the person you want to be“.
Then, build trust in your ability to persevere. In other words: build a habit.
Only then, you start building trust in your ability to constantly improve and become good (or excellent). In other words: build skill.
Building the habit is the hard part – even more so if you simultaneously try to “be good at what you do”. Once your reach habit escape velocity and the habit is in place, building skill becomes way easier.
Another reason why there’s power in publishing imperfect work.
First I become good at writing every day.
Then I become good at writing.First I become good at playing the guitar every day.
Then I become good at playing the guitar.First I become good at doing yoga every day.
Then I become good at yoga.First I become good at meditating every day.
Lukas Van Vyve
Then I become good at meditating.
I can say I want to publish a new book.
Double my income.
Get in shape.
Learn another language.
But hidden beneath the surface of lofty goals are daily actions.
Publishing a book… What does that really mean?
Who is that person who has published the book? (Not just written… actually published?)
What do they say to themselves?
What do they think?
What do they feel?
What do they do every day? And what can I start doing every day to become more of that person who has written that book?
Most importantly, am I willing to take those actions every day to reach whatever goal I’m after?
Am I willing to change?
If not, is that goal even important to me?
Who do I choose to be?
I can say I want to run a marathon, write a book, or have a successful career – which doesn’t mean I’ll actually end up running a marathon, writing a book, or having a successful career.
But if I’m serious about it, it does mean I’ll take daily steps towards that goal – daily actions that will change my identity.
Can I live with the present-day implications of my uncertain future visions?
If I don’t know yet if I’ll ever write the book – will these daily actions still be fulfilling to me?
Will they make me happier?
Will I be happy with the person I become by taking such daily actions?
Do these daily actions contribute to a fulfilling emotional, mental, physical, and social life?
If not, am I willing to make emotional, mental, physical, or social sacrifices?
This is a choice everyone makes for themselves.
But I don’t want to make my present day miserable for an uncertain vision of the future I don’t even know will happen.
We all want to avoid doing things that make us miserable.
Yet avoiding them often takes the shape of prioritizing them.
“I’ll do this unpleasant thing first so that I can get to the fun stuff.”
Unfortunately, it seems to be a rule that the more unpleasant tasks you cross off your to-do list, the more unpleasant tasks appear on your to-do list.
Sometimes it makes sense to do the essential things first, even if that means you keep the unpleasant things on your to-do list.
This is not a free pass to avoid unpleasant things and only do something you like.
It’s about doing the things that matter, regardless of whether they’re pleasant.
It’s about coming to terms with the fact that you’ll probably always drown in chores and busy work to do, then doing the important stuff anyway.
Journaling question of the day:
Where are you prioritizing and attracting things that make you miserable instead of doing the work that matters?
