There is no way to predict the future.
But thinking about where you would like to be in the future can help you make better decisions today.
Want to be a writer in the future? Better write today.
Want to run a marathon? Better run today (or eat better, or rest, or stretch…)
Remind yourself of the future, not for the sake of precise predictions, but for the sake of the present.
A daily insight from Tony Robbins:
Wherever focus goes, energy flows.
Tony Robbins, https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/where-focus-goes-energy-flows/
We’re always ignoring and highlighting parts of our experience to make sense of the world – and it determines the way we feel.
To feel bad, you (temporarily) have to ignore all the events and things you consider positive.
To feel good, you (temporarily) have to ignore events and circumstances that can be challenging.
It all depends on context.
Sometimes, just to function, it’s necessary to ignore.
Sometimes you’re better off highlighting a bit more.
The big challenge: most of the time, we’re not aware of where our focus goes – so we let old habits and patterns decide how we feel – even if they don’t serve us at all.
Here’s an exercise I found useful: Tomorrow, focus on something that’s important for you once an hour (a post-it on your desk or a reminder on your phone can be useful). That way, it remains top of mind (and your energy will flow toward it).
Every hour, also take a moment to become aware of what you’re deleting from your experience, and what you’re highlighting.
One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:
If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.
In other words: actions overrule thoughts.
We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.
Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.
The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.
Which begs the question:
Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.
You can be an aspiring writer without writing.
You can be a former writer without writing.
But you can only call yourself a writer today when you have proof that you’re currently writing.
Does “true purpose” even exist?
And if it does, how do we recognize it?
Persistence despite Resistance may be a helpful indicator.
Are you chasing your dreams because of what society wants you to do?
Or are you chasing them in spite of what society wants you to do?
Because even when social conditioning has molded your mind
if the same desire or vision enters your head, time and again
no matter how many others resist it
no matter how much you resist it
no matter how few people understand
it might be time to embrace who you were always meant to be
and do what you were always meant to do.
I basically write the same song over and over, but they’re just verses of this one really long one. I’m trying to figure it out.
The Tallest Man on Earth
I write every day so I start to understand what I really want to say.
I don’t usually get it right on the first try; maybe I’m not even getting close after 100 iterations.
And that’s fine.
There probably won’t be one post that captures it all.
Maybe understanding emerges from whole of the 100 iterations instead?
Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.
But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.
Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.
When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.
And so the pressure mounts.
Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.
Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.
Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.
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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).
Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.
Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.
Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.
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Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.
Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.
Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.
Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.
