Am I doing this because of who I want to be? Or in spite of who I want to be?
Do I act a certain way automatically?
Who or what made me believe it’s a necessity?
Do I even know who I want to be?
Questions that lead to intentional living.
You only need to stick to one new habit to prove to yourself that you can change.
One habit. One small activity. One Teeny Tiny Trust Builder where you don’t give up, but stay on track.
Why would you make this hard on yourself?
Write one sentence a day.
Learn one word a day.
Meditate for 1 minute.
Make it ridiculously small if you want.
But stick with it.
Stick with it on day one. And the next day. And the next. And also on the day when the universe seems to conspire against you.
Stick with it, because that one silly little activity can be the start of a changed life.
What gets you going – and what keeps you going?
Pain. Pleasure. Usually, a combination of both.
I like being disciplined – it gives me pleasure.
I also know very well that I don’t want to go back to jumping from one project to another, giving up before reaching any meaningful level of skill or results, and ending up frustrated with myself – the thought alone is painful.
The pain often gets you going, later to be joined by pleasure in a cocktail of motivation, discipline, and persistence.
And in this case, strong emotions, passion, and yes, also pain, often lead to more leverage – if you allow yourself to see the lessons it can teach you.
I never want to be that person again – which helped me figure out that I really want to be this person.
Living your never again might well help you figure out your yes, for as long as I shall live.
It’s hard to predict the perfect moment to write, where the stars align and inspiration strikes.
But you can make sure you’re there for it when it happens.
And the only way to be there for it is to write today, no matter the circumstances.
Because maybe the act of writing today is what makes the stars align.
I can choose to procrastinate on a project for weeks – then finish it all in one go, right before the deadline.
In absolute terms, I might have been very efficient with my time – but the time I saved, I spent frustrated with myself.
The long-term effect on my self-image: I’m a procrastinator.
What if I work a little bit on a project every single day – and have it finished well before the deadline?
I might spend more time in total – but every day, every moment spent makes me feel good about myself.
The long-term effect on my self-image: I cultivate an identity of discipline and consistency. I do what I believe to be good for me. I build character. Taking small daily actions towards a goal becomes part of my identity.
What’s more: I avoid the frustration and resentment that comes with procrastination (=not doing what I know I should be doing), and feel good about myself instead.
Long-term, the benefits of small daily actions always outweigh huge last-minute efforts.
With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇
1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.
Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.
Why is this important to you?
What do you stand to gain?
Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?
(❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)
2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.
In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:
Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?
Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?
Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).
This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.
But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.
3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.
Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:
👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…
Bottom line:
Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.
It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.
“No more,” you said.
“No more of this.”
And that’s when that what you really wanted finally became possible.
