#24 Put your actions where your mouth is

ByLukas
|

Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

And that’s how we get out of a rut.

(The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

  1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
    “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
  2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
    “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
  3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
    This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
    So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
  4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

Which begs the question…

Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

Lukas Van Vyve

Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

Similar Posts

|

#216 Outward Proof of Inner Victories

ByLukas

Sometimes I ask myself if you are asking yourself why I write you a short note every day, my friend.

Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit, and you’ve never asked yourself that question.

But I will answer it anyway, so let’s pretend you have.

Here’s the socially acceptable answer: for more than 200 days, I’ve been writing you a short note every day to remind you to make intelligent decisions about your life and who you want to be.

But as so often with us humans, the honest answer is more self-centered: I write you a short note every day to remind myself to make intelligent decisions about my life and who I want to be.

The fact that some insights are helpful to you is a nice bonus. But I would also write them if you have yet to read a single one of these insights.

Because to me, writing every day is a rallying cry for myself in an invisible battle that nobody might ever see – because it only exists in my head.

A battle against frustration, giving up, limiting beliefs, and a cage of social conditioning from which it’s hard to break free.

A battle to become who I’ve always wanted to be.

Yes, every note I write to you, my friend, is outward proof of a tiny inner victory, taking tiny steps towards more self-trust and fulfillment.

You may tell me I don’t have anything to prove to anyone, especially not myself.

And you may be right.

But I also know that we all have our battles to fight.

Battles about what we believe we deserve or not.

What we think we can do or not.

What we believe is possible for us or not.

What we desire.

Who we can be.

So while you might not be asking yourself why I write you something every day, I am asking myself which battles you are fighting.

I am looking for outward proof of your inner victories.

Whatever they are, when you shine a light on your invisible battles, I’ll be here to cheer you on.

|

#109 Now is the time to put my heart on the line

ByLukas

Now is the time to put my heart on the line.

Because whatever I do at this very moment is a direct vote for who I want to be.

But before I let the gravity of the moment paralyze me, I realize – this is not my first vote, and it won’t be my last.

Another present moment will soon arrive, and with the passing of time, another opportunity to put my heart on the line.

Too much pressure on one moment leads to perfectionism and paralysis.

Too much focus on “this one moment doesn’t matter” leads to defeatism and lethargy.

Be intentional about the present moment because it’s the only vote you can directly influence.

Then be aware of the aggregate of your actions because your identity emerges from the majority of your votes.

Who do you choose to be?

|

#207 Overgeneralization vs Undergeneralization

ByLukas

Overgeneralization: I failed to stick to a new habit once, so I’ll always give up.

Undergeneralization: Even though I’ve been writing consistently for months, I’m still expecting the day I’ll finally give up again.

Both are manifestations of self-sabotage and perpetuations of a negative self-image.

The only way out: don’t focus on habits, focus on Tiny Trust Builders.

Let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

Let your actions overrule your thoughts.

Let your actions change your identity.

One day at a time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *