#172 The pursuit of failure

If you truly want to build a habit, you shouldn’t be able to hide behind excuses or vague commitments.

Which means the habit needs to be transparent.

Did you write one sentence today?

Did you learn one word in your target language today?

Did you run one mile today?

Some find transparency empowering.

Some think it’s scary.

But everyone who has built a habit knows this is the way.

What’s one tiny thing you can do every day that proves to yourself that your goals are important to you?

One tiny action you can take even on the worst days when you’re sick, your car breaks down, or you have a crazy busy day?

One tiny action that, if done every day, will transform your identity?

One Tiny Trust Builder that shows: “This is what I stand for, who I am, and who I want to be.”

Decide on it. Stick to it. And as your self-trust grows… be happier for it.

I’ve met many aspiring writers who weren’t writing regularly.

But I’ve never met a successful writer who wasn’t writing regularly.

Or yogis.

Or musicians.

Or athletes.

Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

And so the pressure mounts.

Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

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Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

Does “true purpose” even exist?

And if it does, how do we recognize it?

Persistence despite Resistance may be a helpful indicator.

Are you chasing your dreams because of what society wants you to do?

Or are you chasing them in spite of what society wants you to do?

Because even when social conditioning has molded your mind

if the same desire or vision enters your head, time and again

no matter how many others resist it

no matter how much you resist it

no matter how few people understand

it might be time to embrace who you were always meant to be

and do what you were always meant to do.