#172 The pursuit of failure

ByLukas
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I can’t just say, “today, I’m going to be excellent at writing.”

Excellence is an outcome: a result of focused daily actions.

And one of the fastest ways to excellence is the pursuit of failure.

Not just making accidental mistakes but actively seeking them out.

Did I write nonsense today? Did I understand why I was writing nonsense? Have I learned something from writing that nonsense that will help me write something less nonsensical tomorrow?

The pursuit of failure is painful, especially for perfectionists like me.

But once ego, perfectionism, and the fear of failure make way for a commitment to the process, there’s much to learn from daily mistakes.

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    #23 For all the languages I’ve learned

    ByLukas

    For all the languages I’ve learned
    trying in vain to put the inner and outer world into words
    closely but not completely capturing the essence
    I now realize the biggest insights reveal themselves
    where words are worthless and feelings reign
    where they are felt and lived, embodied,
    refusing to be rationalized, categorized
    or undergo the violent limitations of our words.

    Maybe language learning is more about admitting that some languages are lived, not learned.

    That some insights are felt, not expressed.

    That sometimes words create distance from what we experience deep down, instead of offering the clarity we seek.

    Accepting that may well be the biggest challenge of all.

    There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.

    Rumi

  • #212 Your beacon of trust

    ByLukas

    835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

    It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

    Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

    None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

    The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

    Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

    It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

    It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

    In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

    And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

    I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

    And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

    P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

    After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

    You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

    Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

    P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

  • |

    #104 This is not a poker game

    ByLukas

    All in on getting fluent in a foreign language?
    That’s a 6-12 month game, at the minimum.

    All in on learning an instrument?
    Count on a multi-year (or multi-decade) game.

    All-in on getting in shape?
    That’s a life-long game.

    This is not a poker game. You’re not trying to impress anyone. There are no opponents to deter. Not everything hinges on one big moment where you can win or lose it all.

    You’re not only all in the moment you decide you’re all-in. You’re all in for the entire journey. That means: making your efforts, resources, and motivation last.

    All in means preparing for the long game.

    Choosing small daily habits over grand gestures.

    Choosing consistency over completion.

    Accepting that whatever you go all in on will inevitably change your identity.

    Now you’re all in on life, and who you aspire to be.

  • |

    #97 Not loneliness. Solitude.

    ByLukas

    All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone

    Blaise Pascal, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/19682-all-of-humanity-s-problems-stem-from-man-s-inability-to-sit

    We often equate sitting quietly in a room alone with loneliness: a word with a negative emotional charge.

    But sitting quietly in a room can also bring solitude: the simple state of being by yourself, without any negative connotation.

    Solitude can give relief of the pressure to be constantly “socializing” (through social media apps or in real life).

    Relief of the pressure to socialize can make space.

    Space you can use to hear the thoughts in your head and the feelings in your body.

    Thoughts and feelings that can tell you what’s truly important to you.

    And then you realize that what’s truly important to you is nothing new.

    It’s something you already knew, before you learned not to listen.

  • #14 Meeting myself where I am

    ByLukas

    When writing, the most hurtful words enter your head when no words leave your pen.

    A blank page is a mirror of our own insecurities, frightening, judgmental…

    I found the only way to get through is meeting myself where I am.

    Inspired, afraid, angry, frustrated, fearful of poor work, poor words, or no words at all…

    This is where the journey starts.

    The moment I accept that, I am free again.

    This is why I love Stream-Of-Consciousness writing. Whatever state I am in, I transfer the stream of thoughts, the inner dialogue to the page, and see where the flow takes me.

    Here’s what I’ve learned: it always takes me somewhere.

    And that’s enough to get started.

    Because a blank page is also a promise of all my creative potential, waiting to materialize.

    And when the words finally emerge
    everything flows
    and my self-trust grows.

One Comment

  1. OH, this is so true. Egoism, perfectionism, and the fear of failure and judgement have all kept me from reaching a higher level of achievement and production in my language learning (currently German). I realize that I will pursue (often subconciously) certain activities that I know I can perform relatively well, or at least perform without being judged by others, and avoid other activities, such as speaking my target language aloud, for fear of appearing incompetent or inept. You are definitely right: It is very difficult to remove the ego and perfectionism from the equation. I really enjoy your daily insights, by the way. Take care.

    Reply

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