What would you still do even if nobody else would ever see or hear it?
What do you secretly love but you don’t WANT anyone else to see or hear – out of fear of being judged?
Both are good indicators of a passion – or an addiction.
If it’s a passion, and it’s good for you (aligned with your values and goals and fulfilling): pursue.
If it’s an addiction, and it’s bad for you: reconsider.
I don’t know yet what I want to say today, and I write anyway.
I write anyway because it’s the only way to figure out what I want to say.
I do yoga because it’s the only way to understand why yoga is important.
I run because it’s the only way to figure out why running is worth it.
I spend time with family because it’s the only way to understand why love is important.
There’s no need to wait for reasons of motivation.
You do what you do to figure out why you’re doing it.
So you say you want to be a writer?
Show me one daily action that proves that’s true.So you say you value connection with family and friends?
Show me one daily action that demonstrates you do.So you say you want to learn a foreign language?
Show me one daily action. Show me you’ll follow through.Show me one daily action. Not for me. But for you.
For you to start believing you care.
That your dreams and desires aren’t just castles in the air.
That you dare to build an identity that supports your values and aspirations.
Because actions overrule thoughts.
Actions form (or break) beliefs.
Actions aligned with your values build trust in your good intentions, and change your identity.
One action a day. That’s all it takes.
Lukas Van Vyve
You don’t need to feel motivated to write a sentence.
You don’t even need to want to write to have words appear on the screen or the paper.
You just need to be reminded that you want to be a writer.
And writers write, just like runners run. Musicians make music. Parents parent. Yogis do yoga. Farmers farm.
Even if they don’t feel like it.
Some days I have ten ideas to write about. Some days, zero.
But when I lack ideas to write about, the ideas aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from accessing the insights.
When I feel lonely, friends and family I can connect with aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from connecting with them.
Scarcity is like pollution.
When noise pollution of cars, planes and construction machines drown out the singing of the birds, the birds aren’t really gone. I just can’t hear them.
When light pollution drowns out the stars, they’re not really gone. I just can’t see them.
So how do I get out of scarcity? How do I reduce pollution?
Here’s what works for me:
Notice I’m in scarcity mode. Then move. Meditate. Do stream-of-consciousness journaling.
Then find a place where I hear the birds.
Find a place where I can see the stars.
Write anyway.
And connect with friends and family anyway.
“Is this really important right now?” I ask myself, as another distraction passes through my head.
I imagine an old wise man, disturbed from his task at hand, looking up.
“No? Can you come back later then, at a more appropriate time? Thank you very much.”
Back to work he goes.
“Is this really a life-threatening event?” I ask myself, as another anxiety-inducing thought intrudes my mind.
I imagine the same old wise man, fending off a harassing distraction.
“No? Can you come back with a message more appropriate to the severity of the event? Thank you very much.”
On with life he goes.
If only it were that easy, my friend.
The distracted, anxious, worried mind tends to fight back. I’m taking the liberty to assume you’ve also noticed that at some point in your life.
Nevertheless, I believe we can, nay, we must fight back.
Not that I’m advocating suppression.
Excited, worried, sanguine, anxious, passionate, defeated: let them have their moment of attention – at the appropriate time.
Maybe it’s all about the art of making all the selves get along?
I imagine the old wise man, who has mastered that art.
I know I’m not that old wise man yet.
But I could be, if I make it a point to practice every day.
And so could you, if you make it a point to practice every day.
If that’s something that’s important to you, of course. That’s for you to decide, in your personal situation and in your personal life.
One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:
If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.
In other words: actions overrule thoughts.
We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.
Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.
The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.
Which begs the question:
Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.
