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    #58 Pre-verbal

    There used to be a time when you didn’t have words for your feelings. You just felt them.

    You didn’t have words to say that your parents are your parents. You just knew it.

    You didn’t have words for the sounds other humans made. Like singing birds, a buzzing bumblebee, or a rolling thunder, it was all just vibrating air.

    What was your experience of reality like before words started categorizing, abstracting and limiting what you could see, hear, touch and feel?

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    #110 Unexamined feelings

    I may say I am bored – but what do I feel?

    I may say I am angry – but what do I feel?

    I may say I am in love – but what do I feel?

    What does my body say?

    Can I examine my feelings a different way?

    Can I escape the tragedy of the spoken word?

    Can I resist unconscious categorization and re-learn to listen to what’s behind the language?

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    #225 Commitment comes first

    When you decide if you should be chasing this goal, job, relationship, or place to live – in other words, commitment – you choose between action or inaction based on if it’s a viable, worthwhile, realistic goal.

    When you decide on the course of action – in other words, how to do something – you’re already committed to action.

    Sometimes, the commitment might be too big, too hard, or too disruptive – and that’s perfectly valid.

    But here’s what I’ve noticed, my friend: whenever I try to decide on the how before I’ve decided on the commitment, I have even more doubts, and any course of action seems complicated.

    I’m curious how you feel about it. We’ll talk more about it in the coming days and weeks.

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    #25 Pre-emptive disqualification

    In the series of self-sabotaging behavior I’ve observed in myself and others: “pre-emptively disqualifying yourself”.

    Before you even start, you’re depriving yourself already of any potential benefit of the exercise because you don’t know if you’ll get the EXACT benefit promised/desired by you.

    “This exercise might have cured your neck pain, but I’ve always had neck problems, it won’t chage anything.”

    “You might be able to write every day, but for me, in my situation, that would never be possible.”

    This shows a lack of understanding of learning principles. Because with any exercise, program, diet, methodology, you’ll never get the exact same results as someone else, because you can never replicate the exact circumstances and actions of a person.

    Instead, you do the exercise/program/diet/… within the framework of your own personal context/skills/past experience. Within that context, it will guide your learning process. But the outcome resulting from it is personal.

    Variance is to be expected, and this is a good thing. Because this is how innovation happens: actions in different types of circumstances lead to slightly different results. Sometime that leads to disappointment, sometimes to real breakthroughs.

    Getting different results, then, is not a reason to pre-emptively disqualify yourself, or to claim something doesn’t work. Because the true value doesn’t lie in getting the exact same results as someone else, but rather, to consciously set the general direction of our lives.

    Every day, we have to make so many decisions that lead us down different future paths, so modeling someone and using their actions as a guiding principle will greatly increase the probability of you going in the direction you desire, and getting results in the same ballpark.

    For example, I’ve been doing Dylan Werner’s yoga classes on Alo Moves (my go-to online yoga/fitness/meditation app) consistently for almost two years now. Even if I continue to follow his exact schedule for two more years, chances are, I still might not be able to do something like this:

    After all, we have a different body structure, different gene disposition, different circumstances, and I’ll have to adapt his schedule to my personal capacity.

    Still, if I follow his schedule I’ll definitely become much stronger and healthier than if I chose to model a couch potato, watch TV and eat fries and burgers all day. And that’s what it’s all about.

    Modeling, in that point of view, are an effective way to accelerate your progress and lead your life in the direction you want, without you having to know exactly which results you’ll get.

    In other words: when you let go of the need to predict exact future outcomes, you can stop pre-emptively disqualifying yourself, and start pro-actively setting the direction of your life.

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