#180 Progressive Insight

Living a balanced life doesn’t mean living average experiences.

It’s more like a barbell, or a seesaw, where you go all in on complementary actions.

Work hard, rest hard.

Write with total focus, then fully let go when you’ve hit your word target.

Work out with full intensity, then let your body fully recover.

So when you’re out of balance, the solution is not to come closer to the middle.

Instead, you start doing less of what you’re already doing or add more of the polar opposite of what you’re already doing.

Figure out your polar opposite pairs, and give them both the attention they deserve. That’s how you dance the barbell balance of life.

Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

So I invite you to give it a try.

Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

How likely is the scenario you’re worrying about?
And how impactful or life-threatening is that scenario?
Now, how much mental bandwidth is worrying about it taking up?
Are your worries proportionate to the actual danger?
Should you be worrying at all?
If not, could you stop right away?

Of course, you and I both know that’s not always how it works, my friend.

Because even if we know rationally that we shouldn’t worry, the worrier mind tends to scoff at answering rational questions.

Yet today, I had an insight: maybe those questions aren’t meant to dismiss the worrier mind at all but empower the sane mind, temporarily suppressed and overpowered?

Maybe they can provide enough encouragement to make the sane mind stand up for itself again and say, “Enough is enough.”

Maybe that way, the sane mind will put the worrier mind back in its place, reminding it of the only task where it truly shines: protect us from life-threatening risks.

Or maybe not. I don’t know, my friend. You’ve seen me: I’m just another human with good days and bad—productive days and lazy. Days of irrational fears and worry, and days of relaxing, dreaming, and visioning.

But this I do know: worrying too much has never improved my mood, and I doubt it has ever improved yours.

So if you’ve had an overactive worrier mind lately, trying won’t hurt.

Let me know how it goes.