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    #105 The Fulfillment Formula

    My sense of fulfillment comes from taking daily actions that are aligned with a personal philosophy and a purpose I intentionally determine.

    As life unfolds, my purpose can change. My values can change. I can feel over the moon, dreadful, and everything in between.

    My daily actions can change (and they certainly won’t always be aligned with my personal philosophy).

    But the fulfillment formula always stays the same.

    Are the majority of my daily actions in alignment with my purpose, values, and the identity I want to forge?

    A consequence of this formula: Without clear purpose, without consciously choosing values or designing a personal philosophy, without knowing what you stand for and who you choose to be, it’s hard to feel fulfilled.

    In short: intentional, aligned, disciplined living and identity building helps to feel fulfilled.

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    #216 Outward Proof of Inner Victories

    Sometimes I ask myself if you are asking yourself why I write you a short note every day, my friend.

    Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit, and you’ve never asked yourself that question.

    But I will answer it anyway, so let’s pretend you have.


    Here’s the socially acceptable answer: for more than 200 days, I’ve been writing you a short note every day to remind you to make intelligent decisions about your life and who you want to be.

    But as so often with us humans, the honest answer is more self-centered: I write you a short note every day to remind myself to make intelligent decisions about my life and who I want to be.

    The fact that some insights are helpful to you is a nice bonus. But I would also write them if you have yet to read a single one of these insights.

    Because to me, writing every day is a rallying cry for myself in an invisible battle that nobody might ever see – because it only exists in my head.

    A battle against frustration, giving up, limiting beliefs, and a cage of social conditioning from which it’s hard to break free.

    A battle to become who I’ve always wanted to be.

    Yes, every note I write to you, my friend, is outward proof of a tiny inner victory, taking tiny steps towards more self-trust and fulfillment.

    You may tell me I don’t have anything to prove to anyone, especially not myself.

    And you may be right.

    But I also know that we all have our battles to fight.

    Battles about what we believe we deserve or not.

    What we think we can do or not.

    What we believe is possible for us or not.

    What we desire.

    Who we can be.

    So while you might not be asking yourself why I write you something every day, I am asking myself which battles you are fighting.

    I am looking for outward proof of your inner victories.

    Whatever they are, when you shine a light on your invisible battles, I’ll be here to cheer you on.

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    #352 You’re ready to take the first step

    You don’t have to feel ready to be a successful writer to pick up a pen or open a document and write today.

    In fact, you’ll probably never feel ready to be a successful writer unless you write today.

    This means, strangely enough, that despite how you feel in this very moment, you are entirely ready.

    Ready to take the first step.

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    #111 Your Purpose and Unique Voice

    In writing every day, I find out what I want to say.
    And in writing every day, I learn to say it my way.
    I will never go astray as long as I stay on the field of play.

    You can’t start taking action after finding your purpose.
    You find your purpose by taking action.

    Neither can you wait to start creating until you’ve found your unique voice.
    Because your unique voice emerges from the daily act of creating.

    Envision, want, choose

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    #57 Fill in the blank

    Most of your daily actions are guided by unconscious patterns and habits. But since actions overrule thoughts, even unconscious actions contribute to how you see yourself.

    The more conscious actions you take, the more of a say you get in who you are (or want to be).

    I choose to do ………… because I choose to be someone who …………

    I choose not to do ………… because I choose to perpetuate my identity of ………….

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    #29 The myth of self-sabotage

    All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.

    So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.

    In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.

    Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.

    Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.

    Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).

    Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.

    If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?

    Or even better than just asking: journal about it.

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