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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #64 Changes too small to notice

    Changes too small to notice today become impossible to ignore when they stack up – as long as you take the time to look back.

    Writing this post today doesn’t feel different than the one I wrote yesterday. But when I think about the first daily post I wrote two months ago… it’s a different game.

    I wonder what it’ll feel like in 600 days.

    Is there anything that changed for you in the past months, without you even noticing?

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    #143 Tipping the scale

    A voice in my head says I can’t write every day?

    I’ll write 2 sentences every day, just to prove to that voice that I, in fact, CAN write every day.

    A voice in my head says I don’t have the perseverance to train for (and then finish) a marathon?

    I’ll do something small to prepare for the marathon every day, so at the end of each day, I can say to myself “The proof is there, today was another day of me persevering and preparing for a marathon.”

    You can’t brute-force your way out of an “I can’t do this” belief. You can only take small actions that start proving the contrary.

    Slowly but surely, you chip away at the credibility of the naysayer voice, until the scale starts tipping over, and an encouraging voice emerges.

    Tiny trust builders.

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    #91 Now is not the time to negotiate

    I commit to taking a cold shower. To publish a daily blog post. To do a yoga class, because these actions contribute to my vision for who I want to be.

    I commit, despite the knowledge that when the time has come, right before I turn the shower tap to cold, I won’t want to take a cold shower.

    That right before I start writing an article, my mind will throw a million distractios at me.

    That right before my yoga workout, my mind will start negotiating with itself, coming up with reasons why I’d better do something else.

    “Today it’s cold outside, what if I start tomorrow?”
    “I don’t feel like it today, maybe I’ll just write two articles tomorrow?”
    “{{insert any excuse my mind makes up to avoid short-term discomfort}}

    But now is not the time to negotiate.

    Do I choose the long-term pain of regret over the short-term pain of discipline?

    Do I choose to cultivate a procrastinator identity, or do I become a go-getter?

    Who do I want (and choose) to be?

    I can evaluate and adjust my plan afterwards.

    But now is not the time to negotiate.

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    #74 How to Go From Quitter to Go-Getter

    Becoming disciplined is simple: persevere more often than you quit.

    You don’t always have to persevere. That’s an impossibly high standard.

    Just stick to your habits and projects more often than you quit.

    Then let cognitive dissonance do its work: your beliefs will start shifting to align with your actions.

    You’re a go-getter now.

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    #133 How to Get Irrefutable Proof of Progress

    “Getting better” at something is not a linear process.

    You can practice every day and not see any progress.

    In fact, you can practice every day and notice deterioration.

    But it’s impossible to practice every day without building the self-trust that you have the discipline to practice every day.

    I might not have clear proof that I’m becoming a better writer, but I have irrefutable proof that I wrote today, yesterday, and the past 138 days.

    And because I write every day, the evidence is building that I am, in fact, a writer.

    As my actions shift my identity, the probability that I’ll keep writing increases.

    And as long as I keep writing, the probability of writing better work increases.

    Tiny Trust Builders are the only reliable proof of progress.

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