#188 Predictable pathways

ByLukas
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Eating junk food for dinner. Because that’s what you always did.

Having home-grown vegetables for lunch. Because that’s what you always did.

Scrolling through social media apps for 20 minutes. Because that’s what you always did.

Meditating for 20 minutes every morning. Because that’s what you always did.

Working 15-hour days. Because that’s what you always did.

Taking the time to relax, let the mind wander, and be with family. Because that’s what you always did.

Our lives are full of predictable pathways, paved and reinforced by our past and present actions.

But not all pathways are desirable.

Luckily the past doesn’t equal the future.

You can change your present actions to change the course of your pathway, away from a predictable future towards a desirable future.

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    #236 The Myth of Full Engagement

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    When I write, I write.
    When I practice yoga, I practice yoga.
    When I talk with friends, I talk with friends.

    Or at least, I wish it were like that.

    Because you and I both know how distracted the mind can be, my friend.

    You don’t even need to meditate to figure that out.

    So the mind needs a reminder once in a while.

    “What’s truly important right now?”

    I’ll be practicing every day.

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    #213 Comfortable dissatisfaction

    ByLukas

    You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.

    You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.

    You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.

    Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.

    Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.

    But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.

    So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.

    And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.

    Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.

  • #433 Feel it until it fades

    ByLukas

    You feel excitement. Happiness. Anger. Sadness.

    But you are not your excitement or happiness.

    Because if you allow yourself to cling to the emotions you desire, you’ll have not choice but to identify with undesirable ones, like anger and sadness, too.

    Thus, you feel excitement – until it fades.

    You feel happiness – until it fades.

    You feel anger – until it fades.

    You feel sadness – until it fades.

    No matter which emotion rises, feel it until it fades. You’re going to be fine either way.

  • #151 Habit hardliners vs Elastic Discipline

    ByLukas

    If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?

    If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?

    If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?

    There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”

    After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.

    But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:

    Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.

    This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.

    So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.

    Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.

    After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?

    Skip a day, then start again.

    Build self-trust.

    Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.

    Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.

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