I write every day until I’m a writer.
I paint every day until I’m a painter.
I practice the guitar every day until I’m a guitar player.
I love my family every day until I become a family person.
I prove to myself that I can take one daily action aligned with who I want to be.
And before I know it, the practice becomes the identity.
It’s not possible for you to stop being a writer.
It’s only possible to forget you’re meant to be a writer.
Similary, you’ll never “turn into a writer”.
You reduce resistance until you’ve set free the writer in you.
The moment you stop doing things for what they can give you, and start doing things for who you become through doing them, is the moment you get everything you ever wanted.
Lukas Van Vyve
I don’t write a blog post every day just to have a pile of posts on the blog.
I write because writing is what makes me a writer. And I enjoy being a writer very much.
The blog posts are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.
I don’t practice Stream Of Consciousness journaling every day to write beautiful prose, poems or have amazing insights.
I do it because it calms the mind. Because my life is better with it than without.
And because doing something for 700 days straight shows me that I, too, am becoming a disciplined person. And I enjoy being a disciplined person very much.
The occasional insights are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.
I don’t practice the guitar so I can show the world how well I play.
I play because it’s fun to practice something hard and feel a sense of improvement.
And because practicing the guitar makes me a musician. And I enjoy being a musician very much.
Being able to play a beautiful piece is just a by-product. Pleasant. But a byproduct.
There are by-products. And then there’s what matters.
You got this.
Whether you feel like you got this or not…
You got this.
You can do this.
This is possible for you.
It has always been.
And it will always be.
Deep down, you know this.
And maybe today, you can start accepting it, too.
Appreciation arises from contrast.
How can I enjoy food without knowing what it’s like to be hungry?
How can I appreciate the beauty of a painting without comparing it to something I’ve experienced as ugly?
How can I appreciate social connections without being familiar with solitude? (Not loneliness. Solitude.)
Constant connectivity (especially shallow connections through social media apps) without breaks from socializing numbs the whole bonding experience.
Alternating socializing with solitude warms the heart.
Inspired by Cal Newport’s excellent book Digital Minimalism.
The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.
Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.
“If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”
The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:
“It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”
When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.
When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.
Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.
But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.
Nobody chooses to get addicted to social media.
We chose to get something of value: stay connected with friends. Stay up-to-date. Discover interesting voices.
Then we get addicted through features that bring little value: likes, notification signs, flashy videos hijacking our brains. That’s where the addiction creeps up to you.
If the interests of social media apps (make you spend as much time as possible on the platform) start deviating so much from the original reason we started using them…
Is massive addiction worth the minimal value?
