#175 Perpetuating painful comfort

ByLukas
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We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.

If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.

If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.

If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.

If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.

If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.

Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.

Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.

Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?

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    I’ll never believe I can grow my body stronger until I allow myself to do do something consistently to grow my body stronger.

    I’ll never believe I can mend a mistreated mind until I allow my mind to be mended.

    I’ll never believe I can heal a broken heart until I allow myself to start loving again.

    You don’t start doing something because you believe you can do it.

    You do it because you find leverage to allow yourself to do it, even if it feels outside your comfort zone.

    Until here, and no further.

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    #249 You already know what I’m going to say

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    “You already know what I’m going to say,” the mentor I don’t have tells me.

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    I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do.

    Neither do you.

    All you need is someone to remind you to do what you already know.

    If you had constant presence of mind, you could remind yourself.

    But if you’re anything like me, your clarity gets lost in day-to-day desires, worries, and chores.

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    #230 It’s so much, until it isn’t

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    “Write 3 pages of Stream of Consciousness journaling.”

    “Coming up with 100 things to be grateful about.”

    “Publish a daily insight.”

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    And that’s exactly the point.

    It IS a lot.

    But actually, it isn’t.

    And when you try it out, and see that it isn’t, you’ve shattered the illusion of scarcity and discovered abundance.

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    And while that may serve us well, in many endeavors, there’s much more abundance than we think.

    If your gut reaction was, “That’s so much,” I invite you to try it out.

    Write down what the voice in your head talks about for 3 entire pages.

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    #21 Action Defies Excuses (day 20 update)

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    Day 20 of my daily publishing experiment. What I’ve learned (or remembered) so far:

    • Self-trust is built by taking action. On some days I woke up stressed out, thinking “I have no clue what I’ll post about today”. But then I start writing, and the post reveals itself on the page every single time. After experiencing that several times, the fear of posting (or not being able to write anything) is fading away. In other words: action defies excuses.
    • Starting to journal (Morning Pages) over 600 days ago led to an explosion in creativity. Starting to publish a daily insight is giving me a similar boost.
    • In the past, I leaned towards bigger, longer writing projects that required a lot of energy and thinking before I produced something “valuable”. I now see there’s power in consistently writing short posts about ideas and insights, no matter how insignificant and no matter how imperfect the writing. Because through the writing, I understand them better. I remember them better. And I’m confident that over time, from all these small insights, bigger ideas will emerge.

    In short, a pattern I’ve observed many time in the past years is playing out again:

    When I start defying my own excuses by taking action, no matter how small, my self-trust grows, my self-image shifts, and I become more of the person I want to be.

    Which begs the question:

    Where else am I frustrated, holding on to a static identity of the past that I could prove wrong by taking action?

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