#175 Perpetuating painful comfort

ByLukas
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We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.

If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.

If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.

If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.

If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.

If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.

Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.

Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.

Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?

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#162 Maintaining the majority

ByLukas

If you write more consistently than you don’t write, you’re a writer.

If you run more consistently than you don’t run, you’re a runner.

And while every action you take is a vote for who you want to be, you don’t need 100% of the votes to build a habit or adopt an identity.

It’s okay to slip up, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to make a mistake – as long as you cast enough votes in favor of your desired identity.

Don’t be a hardliner nor a totalitarian. Be disciplined without fearing the occasional laps.

Focus on maintaining the majority.

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#92 The true purpose of memory

ByLukas

Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

#443 Be consistent with the how, not the what

ByLukas

If you’re curious about one topic, you can stay curious, even if your interests change over time.

If you’re kind to one person, you can stay kind when talking to other people.

If you showed leadership in your last job, you can show leadership in your new job.

You can be consistent in how you do things, without having to be consistent in what you do.

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#181 You’re never done

ByLukas

You can labor for years on a business with little results until suddenly it blows up.

Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you continue your journey until the next big jump.

You’re never done building your business.

You can practice a yoga pose for months with little results until suddenly your body understands, and you’re able to perform it.

Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you continue your journey of discovery.

You’re never done practicing yoga.

You can practice a language for months without being able to string together any sentences until suddenly, your brain understands, and you’re able to speak with ease.

Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you’ll continue your language-learning journey.

You’re never done learning a language.

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