When the future doesn’t scare you anymore, and you say, “It’s okay.”
When daily worries don’t make you go astray anymore, and you say, “It’s okay.”
When you put it all into perspective, and you realize, “Hey, I am genuinely okay.”
You know more peaceful days are finally on their way.
Even when the cure is available, we never let our body heal, because what would we do if we couldn’t complain about our ailments anymore?
Even when true love presents itself, we push it away, because what would we do if we can’t complain about partners leaving us anymore?
Even when friends and family show support, we don’t allow it, because what would we do if we can’t say anymore that everyone is out to screw us over?
Would we rather stay stubborn? Would we rather stay comfortable in our uncomfortable misconceptions?
Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.
But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.
Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.
When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.
And so the pressure mounts.
Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.
Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.
Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.
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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).
Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.
Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.
Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.
—
Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.
Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.
Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.
Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.
As I gain more expertise in a certain field, I expect my posts on that topic to get shorter.
Because raw material starts with a lot of fluff, and only through sculpting away, day by day do I get closer to the essence.
So…
If my posts on a topic I’m familiar with are getting longer on average, I’m off-track.
If they become more abstract, I’m getting off-track.
In other words…
When I don’t yet have so much to say
I can’t stop talking
Until I sculpt away
Realize
Some words matter more than others
And what’s left is
Enough
Only when you let yourself practice what you preach
Each and every day
Do you stand a chance at becoming good at what you practice
This is the only way
When you write every day, you’ll start believing you can write every day.
When you run every day, you’ll start believing you can run every day.
Therefore, you don’t need to believe in your capabilities before taking action.
First, you act. Then your beliefs react.
You know I like word games, my friend.
Let’s play with mistakes today.
I don’t like that word—such a negative emotional charge.
And what’s the opposite of a mistake, anyway?
We have a word for doing things wrong, but not for doing things right?
Could we call mistakes lessons?
Bleh, so bland. Heard that a million times before.
What about misguided actions?
Better. Actions that guide me away from my intended outcome. And after a misguided action, I adjust my strategy. I course-correct. Until I get it right and take… guided action?
We’re not there yet. But guided and misguided actions… I don’t know about you, my friend, but to me, that’s going in the right direction.
A bit like traction and distraction.
But that’s a word game for another day.
