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    #216 Outward Proof of Inner Victories

    Sometimes I ask myself if you are asking yourself why I write you a short note every day, my friend.

    Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit, and you’ve never asked yourself that question.

    But I will answer it anyway, so let’s pretend you have.


    Here’s the socially acceptable answer: for more than 200 days, I’ve been writing you a short note every day to remind you to make intelligent decisions about your life and who you want to be.

    But as so often with us humans, the honest answer is more self-centered: I write you a short note every day to remind myself to make intelligent decisions about my life and who I want to be.

    The fact that some insights are helpful to you is a nice bonus. But I would also write them if you have yet to read a single one of these insights.

    Because to me, writing every day is a rallying cry for myself in an invisible battle that nobody might ever see – because it only exists in my head.

    A battle against frustration, giving up, limiting beliefs, and a cage of social conditioning from which it’s hard to break free.

    A battle to become who I’ve always wanted to be.

    Yes, every note I write to you, my friend, is outward proof of a tiny inner victory, taking tiny steps towards more self-trust and fulfillment.

    You may tell me I don’t have anything to prove to anyone, especially not myself.

    And you may be right.

    But I also know that we all have our battles to fight.

    Battles about what we believe we deserve or not.

    What we think we can do or not.

    What we believe is possible for us or not.

    What we desire.

    Who we can be.

    So while you might not be asking yourself why I write you something every day, I am asking myself which battles you are fighting.

    I am looking for outward proof of your inner victories.

    Whatever they are, when you shine a light on your invisible battles, I’ll be here to cheer you on.

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    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #31 Ignore, then highlight more

    A daily insight from Tony Robbins:

    Wherever focus goes, energy flows.

    Tony Robbins, https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/where-focus-goes-energy-flows/

    We’re always ignoring and highlighting parts of our experience to make sense of the world – and it determines the way we feel.

    To feel bad, you (temporarily) have to ignore all the events and things you consider positive.

    To feel good, you (temporarily) have to ignore events and circumstances that can be challenging.

    It all depends on context.

    Sometimes, just to function, it’s necessary to ignore.

    Sometimes you’re better off highlighting a bit more.

    The big challenge: most of the time, we’re not aware of where our focus goes – so we let old habits and patterns decide how we feel – even if they don’t serve us at all.

    Here’s an exercise I found useful: Tomorrow, focus on something that’s important for you once an hour (a post-it on your desk or a reminder on your phone can be useful). That way, it remains top of mind (and your energy will flow toward it).

    Every hour, also take a moment to become aware of what you’re deleting from your experience, and what you’re highlighting.

    • What am I trying to do today?
    • What am I trying to do right now?
    • What’s important to me?
    • What do I want to focus on… what do I intentionally ignore?
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    #105 The Fulfillment Formula

    My sense of fulfillment comes from taking daily actions that are aligned with a personal philosophy and a purpose I intentionally determine.

    As life unfolds, my purpose can change. My values can change. I can feel over the moon, dreadful, and everything in between.

    My daily actions can change (and they certainly won’t always be aligned with my personal philosophy).

    But the fulfillment formula always stays the same.

    Are the majority of my daily actions in alignment with my purpose, values, and the identity I want to forge?

    A consequence of this formula: Without clear purpose, without consciously choosing values or designing a personal philosophy, without knowing what you stand for and who you choose to be, it’s hard to feel fulfilled.

    In short: intentional, aligned, disciplined living and identity building helps to feel fulfilled.

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    #314 You don’t need to see progress every day

    In the moment, I don’t feel like a yoga pose comes easy to me – until I look back to how it felt 6 months ago.

    In the moment, I don’t really feel like particularly good writer – until I look back on how hard it was to write these daily insights a year ago.

    You don’t need to see progress every single day to know that you’re getting better.

    Because the things that truly matter often change so slowly that you don’t notice them… unless you take the time to reflect on them.

    Changes too small to notice today become impossible to ignore when they stack up.

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