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    #92 The true purpose of memory

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

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    #280 Sway with the day-to-day

    Can’t write at your usual time? Sway, and write later in the day anyway.

    A work project doesn’t go your way? Sway, remember your ultimate goal, and keep going anyway.

    Can’t go for your usual run because your knee hurts when you woke up? Sway, realize there are more ways to prepare for a marathon than just running, then do a prep session anyway.

    If you don’t want to let the day-to-day sway you in your purpose, you must sway with the day-to-day.

    When things don’t go your way, sway – but find a way to make progress anyway.

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    #118 The Process is Predictable

    First, you practice doing the process every day – because if you don’t do the process consistently, you’ll never move towards an outcome in the first place. Tiny Trust Builders always come first.

    Then, you practice becoming good at the process – because the better you are at the process, the more likely you’ll reach an outcome.

    But, unfortunately, even if you become excellent at the process, you still won’t be able to predict an exact outcome.

    Outcomes are fickle.

    Even progress is fickle.

    But the process is predictable.

    And who knows, maybe the process IS the outcome.

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    #105 This is how you make the future yours

    When it comes to habits, our actions in the present make future present moments more (or less) likely.

    Do I journal today? That’s a vote for my journaling identity – which increases the likelihood of another journaling moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

    Do I check Instagram today? That’s a vote for my Instagram-browsing identity – which increases the likelihood of another Instagram moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

    Have I journaled 700 days in a row? I can say quite confidently I’ll journal again tomorrow. Massive predictive power.

    So how do change the future?

    Weaken the predictive power of one habit – stop taking the actions you want to change.

    Strengthen the predictive power of a new habit – intentionally start taking different actions, and let every present moment be a vote for that new habit (and new identity).

    The process is challenging and slow.

    You’ll need patience.

    Willpower to resist the pull of habits that have already accumulated tremendous predictive power.

    You’ll need presence of mind and perseverance to choose new actions because you know they’re important to you.

    It’s challenging. Slow. And worth it.

    Because this is how you make the future yours.

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    #218 The United States of “If I wanted, I could”

    The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant. 

    Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

    That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.

    Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?

    Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?

    Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?

    Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?


    I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization. 

    Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.

    But even if they were, it doesn’t matter. 

    Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.

    Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”

    Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.

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    #215 I’ll write you something either way

    I am tired today.
    But I’ll write you something either way, my friend.
    Maybe not a full essay.
    Maybe just a little wordplay.
    But I’ll write you either way.
    Why, you say?
    Simple.
    Because I want this, I want us to be one of those habits that are here to stay.


    What are you doing either way because you want it to be one of those habits that are here to stay?

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