#216 Outward Proof of Inner Victories

You can wait to start writing until that moment when the frustration builds up so much that not writing becomes unbearable.

But why wait for the pain if you could just write today?

After all, you’re not waiting to become a writer. You’re already a writer. You’re just not writing. Yet.

And all of that can change in one moment of deciding not to wait, but to write.

The other day you asked about my favorite words.

But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

Consider this one:

“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

• Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
• Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
• Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

How would I feel about myself…

How would I look at myself?

What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

Which obstacles would I have conquered?

Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

And just like that, with my imagination set free

internal resistance melting away

off I go

finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

• Because it helps me slow down.
• Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
• Because I feel calm after writing them.
• Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
• Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

In working-class cafés in Napoli, people who experienced good luck often buy a coffee, then another one “pending”, which the barista can serve to anyone at his own discretion: a caffè sospeso.

A symbol of social trust and solidarity. Or, in the hands of marketeers and big coffee chains, a tool for increasing sales.

Regardless, it’s an act minimal enough to not to turn the donor into a hero, and small enough not to affect the receiver’s self-worth.

If such accessible acts of generosity make the donor feel good, and the receiver of a free coffee too…

And if it’s something almost everyone can do, not just billionaire philanthropists…

It’s an initiative worth spreading. Maybe not only for coffee.

If you don’t make a conscious choice to do something new, the choice will be made for you: you’ll stick with the default behavior you were doing before.

Your job is to stick to your conscious choices for long enough so they can become the new default behavior.