The only future we habitually see for ourselves is the one our past illuminates.
The moment we take a flashlight, intentionally aim our gaze, and look at what lies beyond the shade of the past, we see what’s truly possible for us.
It’s a counterintuitive process.
It takes courage and energy.
It’s what intentional living is all about.
I couldn’t imagine finding time for 3 pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling a day – until I started writing them. 700 days later, I haven’t missed a day.
I couldn’t imagine finding time or energy to publish a daily blog post – until I started publishing them. 70 days later, I haven’t missed a day.
I couldn’t imagine finding time or willpower for 5 yoga sessions a week – until I started doing them. 2 years later, I can’t imagine not doing them anymore.
Sometimes it’s hard to see how you could have time or energy for something before you just start doing it. Then it becomes the new normal.
It’s your mind playing tricks on you.
Start doing (and start small). Keep doing. Then start believing.
All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.
So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.
In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.
Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.
Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.
Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).
Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.
If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?
Or even better than just asking: journal about it.
Whenever someone commits to doing something and doesn’t follow through, I start distrusting them.
Whenever I commit to doing something and don’t follow through, I start distrusting myself.
The person who most often lets you down might well be you.
If you don’t accept this behavior from others, why would you accept it from yourself?
The path to higher self-esteem is paved with kept promises to yourself.
Fulfillment doesn’t come from closing the gap between wanting and having.
It comes from closing the gap between wanting and doing.
Want to write a book? Then write every day – even if you don’t have the book yet.
Want to start a successful business? Then start the business – even if you’re not successful yet.
Want to run a marathon? Then run every day – even if you haven’t run a marathon yet.
After all, you might never close the gap between wanting and having.
But the gap between wanting and doing, you can close right this very moment.
It rains – you keep breathing.
The sun is out – you keep breathing.
You win – you keep breathing.
You lose – you keep breathing.
You feel good – you keep breathing.
You feel bad – you keep breathing.
Whatever happens, you can keep breathing. And you can continue with what’s important to you.
There is no such thing as “abstaining from voting” in life.
Whether I decide to write today or not, I’m living my life and voting for an identity.
Whether I decide to do yoga today or not, I’m living a life and voting for an identity.
Whether I eat healthily today or not, I’m living my life and voting for an identity.
Whether I spend time with my family or not, I’m living my life and voting for an identity.
Voting is compulsory. Voting is inevitable.
You might as well do it intentionally.
