Does a day end, or does a new one start?
Does the end of a book chapter signal termination, or does it serve as a gateway to an unexplored continuation?
Maybe we don’t need to arbitrarily mark endings and beginnings in lives that consist of an uninterrupted flow.
Maybe we’re just a tiny plot in a story spanning billions of years.
Maybe we don’t grasp the bigger story anyway.
Maybe it’s all the same.
First I envision a future me. Who do I want to be?
Then every single day, every single moment, I choose to take actions that turn me into that person I want to be.
If I don’t consciously choose my actions in the present moment that contribute to my vision, and I’m led by old unconscious patterns, beliefs, and habits instead, my visions will remain imaginary.
And if I never take the time to envision who I want to be, how do I know which actions to choose?
First envision what you want. Then choose to make it happen.
What you spend your time on.
Who you spend your time with.
Who you listen to.
What you listen to.
Never forget, you get to choose.
The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.
Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.
“If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”
The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:
“It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”
When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.
When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.
Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.
But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.
You build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.
I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.
I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.
But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.
I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.
I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.
There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:
When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.
Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.
when the cracks in my faux finish
finally appear
my mind screams out
you’re coming too nearyet i resist the need to hide
lean in to the fear
let the cracks grow wide
because after all these years
slowly steadily submerged under layers of snow
frozen frightened i don’t know where else to goi feel i’m sliding back into my head
but you don’t let me
instead
you keep me here
make even more light appear
look at the fear
until the icy flawed frozen faux finish finally fully melts away
into a trembling torrent of tearsand through the sobs
subtle shining light teardrops
mix mingle mend my mind
my heart my soul a warmth so kindyou guide my gaze and through the tears
in my eyes a rainbow appears
eclipsing the fear
making it clear
that when I dare to feel complete
allow your heart and mine to meeti finally remember
that I’m enough
i’ve always beenand at last
Lukas Van Vyve
i can be seen
Who you are and what you do consistently always coincide. After all, your repeated actions create your identity.
But who you want to be and what you consistently do don’t usually coincide. Otherwise, you would already have become who you want to be.
You want to be a writer, but you’re not consistently writing? Writing consistently will bridge the gap between your current and desired identity.
You want to be a guitar player, but you’re not consistently playing the guitar? Practicing daily will bridge the gap between your current and desired identity.
Could you make your actions coincide with your desired identity?
