Does a day end, or does a new one start?
Does the end of a book chapter signal termination, or does it serve as a gateway to an unexplored continuation?
Maybe we don’t need to arbitrarily mark endings and beginnings in lives that consist of an uninterrupted flow.
Maybe we’re just a tiny plot in a story spanning billions of years.
Maybe we don’t grasp the bigger story anyway.
Maybe it’s all the same.
If I don’t write the post I intended to write, I actively avoid the desired result of my writing.
If I don’t do the workout I intended to do, I actively avoid the desired result of my workout (being in better shape, running a new PR,…)
If I don’t have the difficult conversation I intended to have, I actively avoid the desired result of that conversation.
Inaction is not the lack of action.
Inaction is taking active action to avoid working towards the result you desire.
The real question, then, is:
Why do I actively avoid working toward a desired result?
Am I worried that even if I write daily, I’ll never become a skilled writer?
Am I worried I won’t enjoy writing anymore if I ever get recognition?
Am I worried that writing every day will turn me into a skilled writer, but being a professional writer won’t be fulfilling?
P.S. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I only have a limited repertoire of examples in this newsletter, my friend
I trust you to apply the insight to your situation.
And maybe, when you’re pondering the question above, you’ll come to the same conclusion as me:
That more often than not, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”
A neurotransmitter that once helped us evolve and motivated us to go out and explore the world now has us glued to screens and plates filled with sugary food.
Dopamine tells us not just to eat, but to eat more.
Not just to read a useful article, but click more headlines.
Swipe through more videos and photos.
Watch more episodes on Netflix.
Yet, when I interrupt the dopamine reward loop and resist the need for more, I’m pulled back into the now, and strangely enough, I actually see more. Hear more. Feel more.
Sometimes, to get more, you need to moderate.
“If successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals, then the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers.”
https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
It’s not about having goals. It’s about the follow-up questions goals raise.
“Will pursuing this goal be good for me? Physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially?”
“Is there any part of myself, my environment, and the people I care about that will suffer if I pursue this goal?”
“Who will I have become when I have achieved this goal?”
“Who do I need to be today to achieve this goal?”
“Which actions can I take today that bring me closer to achieving a goal?”
Repeated actions will overrule your thoughts. Repeated actions will change your identity. Better choose your goals and your actions intentionally.
Changes too small to notice today become impossible to ignore when they stack up – as long as you take the time to look back.
Writing this post today doesn’t feel different than the one I wrote yesterday. But when I think about the first daily post I wrote two months ago… it’s a different game.
I wonder what it’ll feel like in 600 days.
Is there anything that changed for you in the past months, without you even noticing?
When you need to do it every day
there just is no other way
you’re developing a habit, but it could still fade away.
When you don’t need to do it every day
and you trust you’ll stay on track anyway
you know the habit is here to stay.
Your best writing can only happen when you’re writing.
Your running PR can only happen when you’re running.
And your most cherished moments with friends can only happen when you’re with your friends.
You can try to time life.
But the only foolproof way to live your best moments do is by showing up in the moment.
