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    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #58 Pre-verbal

    There used to be a time when you didn’t have words for your feelings. You just felt them.

    You didn’t have words to say that your parents are your parents. You just knew it.

    You didn’t have words for the sounds other humans made. Like singing birds, a buzzing bumblebee, or a rolling thunder, it was all just vibrating air.

    What was your experience of reality like before words started categorizing, abstracting and limiting what you could see, hear, touch and feel?

  • #240 It’s not about you. It’s not about me.

    Most people are kind at heart and would be happy to help you – and other people – out all the time if only, you know, just like you, they didn’t have a life of their own full of obligations, dreams, passions, and worries. In other words, a life that doesn’t entirely revolve around being at your service.

    I don’t know if that always holds for everyone, my friend. And it’s not a free pass for selfishness or treating others poorly.

    But I do like to believe it’s mainly a mental bandwidth challenge and that deep down, people always want to help.

    Because it makes me more understanding and empathetic. For other people’s behavior and my own.

    After all, it’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about us all.

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    #197 Reminders upon reminders upon reminders

    Intentional living is about reminding yourself of what’s most important to you.

    Reminding yourself that you can choose to be a writer, a runner, a musician, an artist, or a bon vivant.

    Reminding yourself that you can choose to be kind to others.

    Reminding yourself that you have a choice to act differently.

    Reminding yourself that the past does not equal the future.

    Reminding yourself that this, too, shall pass.

    Reminding yourself that at any given moment, whatever reminder you need the most, you likely won’t think of yourself.

    Reminding yourself that for this reason, it’s OK to get help and let someone else remind you with short daily notes.

    And me, reminding myself that the act of writing daily reminders for you is the reminder I need to remember that I do, in fact, choose to be consistent, and I choose to be a writer.

    Reminders upon reminders upon reminders that we will constantly get distracted, and we will always have the choice to come back to what truly matters.

  • #356 Don’t be guilted into discipline

    You don’t become truly happy when a Duolingo owl, notifications, or leaderboards guilted them into spending hours on their phone – even if they learn something.

    Could we create learning environments that build self-trust (you showed up because it’s important for you to show up)?

    Discipline (I stuck to my plan and I feel good about it)?

    Agency (I chose to do this today)?

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