#91 Now is not the time to negotiate

ByLukas
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I commit to taking a cold shower. To publish a daily blog post. To do a yoga class, because these actions contribute to my vision for who I want to be.

I commit, despite the knowledge that when the time has come, right before I turn the shower tap to cold, I won’t want to take a cold shower.

That right before I start writing an article, my mind will throw a million distractios at me.

That right before my yoga workout, my mind will start negotiating with itself, coming up with reasons why I’d better do something else.

“Today it’s cold outside, what if I start tomorrow?”
“I don’t feel like it today, maybe I’ll just write two articles tomorrow?”
“{{insert any excuse my mind makes up to avoid short-term discomfort}}

But now is not the time to negotiate.

Do I choose the long-term pain of regret over the short-term pain of discipline?

Do I choose to cultivate a procrastinator identity, or do I become a go-getter?

Who do I want (and choose) to be?

I can evaluate and adjust my plan afterwards.

But now is not the time to negotiate.

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  • #167 Worry or dream a thousand times

    ByLukas

    I can worry a thousand times until my worries come true.

    I can envision my dreams a thousand times until my dreams come true.

    Not because of the act of worrying or the dreaming itself.

    But because my worries or dreams will incite different present actions taking me down different paths.

    Whatever future I focus on a thousand times, I’ll be drawn towards.

    Choose wisely.

  • | |

    #113 Make space

    ByLukas

    Actions overrule thoughts, and sometimes the best creative act – and the one requiring the most discipline – is doing nothing.

    Because when you slow down your pace, suddenly you realize: there’s space.

    There’s space for the thoughts and feelings you were so afraid to face.

    There’s space to redirect the energy you’ve misplaced.

    There’s space to rediscover everything that escaped your gaze while you were engaged in an endless rat race.

    There’s space for you to remember
    that before you learned not to listen
    and constant distraction erased every trace
    of the insights you so desperately chase
    there was a place of stillness
    a warm embrace
    where all the answers were right there, in your face

    Only when you’ve slowed down your mind’s pace
    you realize
    you were never out of place
    you were navigating a self-inflicted maze
    with only one way out:

    Make space.

  • |

    #255 The method to your madness

    ByLukas

    Most people don’t see why you’re taking time out of your busy day to sit down and write until the book you were working on every day lies in front of them.

    They don’t see why you run every day and eat clean until you set a personal best at the next marathon.

    They don’t see the new product you’re working on until it’s developed so far that it helps them achieve their goals.

    You’re the only one who sees the method to your madness.

    And that’s fine.

    Because you probably don’t see the method to their madness either.

  • |

    #24 Put your actions where your mouth is

    ByLukas

    Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

    Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

    https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

    Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

    Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

    As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

    And that’s how we get out of a rut.

    (The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

    Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

    1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
      “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
    2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
      “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
    3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
      This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
      So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
    4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

    Which begs the question…

    Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

    Lukas Van Vyve

    Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

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