#91 Now is not the time to negotiate

ByLukas
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I commit to taking a cold shower. To publish a daily blog post. To do a yoga class, because these actions contribute to my vision for who I want to be.

I commit, despite the knowledge that when the time has come, right before I turn the shower tap to cold, I won’t want to take a cold shower.

That right before I start writing an article, my mind will throw a million distractios at me.

That right before my yoga workout, my mind will start negotiating with itself, coming up with reasons why I’d better do something else.

“Today it’s cold outside, what if I start tomorrow?”
“I don’t feel like it today, maybe I’ll just write two articles tomorrow?”
“{{insert any excuse my mind makes up to avoid short-term discomfort}}

But now is not the time to negotiate.

Do I choose the long-term pain of regret over the short-term pain of discipline?

Do I choose to cultivate a procrastinator identity, or do I become a go-getter?

Who do I want (and choose) to be?

I can evaluate and adjust my plan afterwards.

But now is not the time to negotiate.

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    #186 The hour of misery

    ByLukas

    Not all tasks and activities we must do feel fulfilling or rewarding. There’s no way out of busy work.

    But we can avoid prioritizing and attracting it to the expense of work that matters.

    Enter the hour of misery.

    One hour of busy work and chores a day.

    60 minutes. Not more. But also not less.

    If, after 60 minutes of misery, you feel like you should do much more, it’s time to realign priorities.

    Delegate.

    OR come to terms with the fact that you’ll never finish the pile of busy work tasks – then carry on with the important stuff anyway.

    After all, tomorrow’s another day.

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    #227 Could a changed past set me free?

    ByLukas

    Which conclusions did I draw from past experiences?

    Have I overreacted to petty events, and ignored beautiful moments?

    Have I deleted memories? Maybe invented some?

    Have I built stories based on generalizations?

    Most importantly: how does the past I still feel affect my actions today?

    And if I know a lot of it was my own interpretation… could I change my past, or at least what it means to me?

    Would that set me free?

    I was undoubtedly in a pensive mood when writing this.

    I guess, given the daily letters I send you, you might conclude I’m in a pensive mood every day.

    And you wouldn’t be wrong.

    But pensive moods can be useful – when they’re coupled with conclusions and insights. Maybe even with Tiny Trust Builders.

    And if any of these questions help you re-interpret your past and set you free, too, I’ll be a happy man.

    A wistful win-win.

  • |

    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    ByLukas

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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    #235 Do I care? Should I care?

    ByLukas

    I am inspired when I write, because I care about writing.
    I am disappointed when I don’t write, because I care about writing.

    I am delighted when there are no traffic jams, because I care about efficiency.
    I am frustrated when the train is delayed, because I care about efficiency.

    Strong emotions are the most honest answer to the question, “Do I care?”

    ”But should I care?” I hear you ask.

    Well, my friend, that’s a different question.

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