#201 Nothing will be perfect

If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?

If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?

If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?

There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”

After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.

But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:

Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.

This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.

So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.

Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.

After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?

Skip a day, then start again.

Build self-trust.

Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.

Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.

835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!