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    #162 Maintaining the majority

    If you write more consistently than you don’t write, you’re a writer.

    If you run more consistently than you don’t run, you’re a runner.

    And while every action you take is a vote for who you want to be, you don’t need 100% of the votes to build a habit or adopt an identity.

    It’s okay to slip up, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to make a mistake – as long as you cast enough votes in favor of your desired identity.

    Don’t be a hardliner nor a totalitarian. Be disciplined without fearing the occasional laps.

    Focus on maintaining the majority.

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    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #207 Overgeneralization vs Undergeneralization

    Overgeneralization: I failed to stick to a new habit once, so I’ll always give up.

    Undergeneralization: Even though I’ve been writing consistently for months, I’m still expecting the day I’ll finally give up again.

    Both are manifestations of self-sabotage and perpetuations of a negative self-image.

    The only way out: don’t focus on habits, focus on Tiny Trust Builders.

    Let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

    Let your actions overrule your thoughts.

    Let your actions change your identity.

    One day at a time.

  • #2 Why I write

    If writing and creating every day were as vital to my survival as drinking water, ingesting food, and bonding… What would life look like?

    Biologically, all behavior is driven by pain, pleasure, and the triggers and habits that come from repeated reaction to those stimuli.

    So I eat because I want to escape the pain of hunger – or heartbreak, sadness, and frustration.

    I connect with others because I’m neurologically hardwired to feel pleasure when bonding… and pain and deprivation when I’m abandoned.

    Similarly, I write because I want to escape the frustration of not being able to put into words an insight.

    I also write because I enjoy the rush resulting from finding the words that convey what I want to say.

    I write because I love the tingling in my back and neck when I combine those words into sentences with just the right rhythm, just the right cadence capturing the meaning, context, emotion of what I want to say…

    I write because writing wrests the essence from the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions racing through my mind and body.

    I write because when when I write, I feel that at last, I can make sense of life.

    And the more meaning I find, the more likely I am to write.

  • #378 Don’t negotiate yourself out of your dreams

    You usually make a plan in a moment of motivation and clear thinking, where everything seems possible.

    But you’ll have to execute the plan in a variety of situations, including harsh conditions.

    Remember this: difficult moments pass, just like easy moments.

    Every moment passes, but your plans and dreams will still be there.

    Don’t negotiate yourself out of your dreams based on a difficult moment.

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