#497 It’s not supposed to be easy

Day 20 of my daily publishing experiment. What I’ve learned (or remembered) so far:

• Self-trust is built by taking action. On some days I woke up stressed out, thinking “I have no clue what I’ll post about today”. But then I start writing, and the post reveals itself on the page every single time. After experiencing that several times, the fear of posting (or not being able to write anything) is fading away. In other words: action defies excuses.
• Starting to journal (Morning Pages) over 600 days ago led to an explosion in creativity. Starting to publish a daily insight is giving me a similar boost.
• In the past, I leaned towards bigger, longer writing projects that required a lot of energy and thinking before I produced something “valuable”. I now see there’s power in consistently writing short posts about ideas and insights, no matter how insignificant and no matter how imperfect the writing. Because through the writing, I understand them better. I remember them better. And I’m confident that over time, from all these small insights, bigger ideas will emerge.

In short, a pattern I’ve observed many time in the past years is playing out again:

When I start defying my own excuses by taking action, no matter how small, my self-trust grows, my self-image shifts, and I become more of the person I want to be.

Which begs the question:

Where else am I frustrated, holding on to a static identity of the past that I could prove wrong by taking action?

Sometimes I ask myself if you are asking yourself why I write you a short note every day, my friend.

Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit, and you’ve never asked yourself that question.

But I will answer it anyway, so let’s pretend you have.

Here’s the socially acceptable answer: for more than 200 days, I’ve been writing you a short note every day to remind you to make intelligent decisions about your life and who you want to be.

But as so often with us humans, the honest answer is more self-centered: I write you a short note every day to remind myself to make intelligent decisions about my life and who I want to be.

The fact that some insights are helpful to you is a nice bonus. But I would also write them if you have yet to read a single one of these insights.

Because to me, writing every day is a rallying cry for myself in an invisible battle that nobody might ever see – because it only exists in my head.

A battle against frustration, giving up, limiting beliefs, and a cage of social conditioning from which it’s hard to break free.

A battle to become who I’ve always wanted to be.

Yes, every note I write to you, my friend, is outward proof of a tiny inner victory, taking tiny steps towards more self-trust and fulfillment.

You may tell me I don’t have anything to prove to anyone, especially not myself.

And you may be right.

But I also know that we all have our battles to fight.

Battles about what we believe we deserve or not.

What we think we can do or not.

What we believe is possible for us or not.

What we desire.

Who we can be.

So while you might not be asking yourself why I write you something every day, I am asking myself which battles you are fighting.

I am looking for outward proof of your inner victories.

Whatever they are, when you shine a light on your invisible battles, I’ll be here to cheer you on.