#257 Not pleasant, but predictable

ByLukas
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Getting worked up about traffic jams is not pleasant, but it’s predictable. And addictive.

So is giving up on writing a book, quitting a workout regime, and re-living any conflict or failure.

Not pleasant. But predictable.

This is how you’ve always felt. And this is how you’ll always feel – unless you become aware of the unpleasant, predictable, addictive patterns and decide to act differently.

Not only once, not twice, but every time you become aware of the pattern until you’ve built enough self-trust that you know the unpleasant predictable events aren’t inevitable.

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    #235 Do I care? Should I care?

    ByLukas

    I am inspired when I write, because I care about writing.
    I am disappointed when I don’t write, because I care about writing.

    I am delighted when there are no traffic jams, because I care about efficiency.
    I am frustrated when the train is delayed, because I care about efficiency.

    Strong emotions are the most honest answer to the question, “Do I care?”

    ”But should I care?” I hear you ask.

    Well, my friend, that’s a different question.

  • #240 It’s not about you. It’s not about me.

    ByLukas

    Most people are kind at heart and would be happy to help you – and other people – out all the time if only, you know, just like you, they didn’t have a life of their own full of obligations, dreams, passions, and worries. In other words, a life that doesn’t entirely revolve around being at your service.

    I don’t know if that always holds for everyone, my friend. And it’s not a free pass for selfishness or treating others poorly.

    But I do like to believe it’s mainly a mental bandwidth challenge and that deep down, people always want to help.

    Because it makes me more understanding and empathetic. For other people’s behavior and my own.

    After all, it’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about us all.

  • #330 You only need one

    ByLukas

    You only need to stick to one new habit to prove to yourself that you can change.

    One habit. One small activity. One Teeny Tiny Trust Builder where you don’t give up, but stay on track.

    Why would you make this hard on yourself?

    Write one sentence a day.

    Learn one word a day.

    Meditate for 1 minute.

    Make it ridiculously small if you want.

    But stick with it.

    Stick with it on day one. And the next day. And the next. And also on the day when the universe seems to conspire against you.

    Stick with it, because that one silly little activity can be the start of a changed life.

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    #21 Action Defies Excuses (day 20 update)

    ByLukas

    Day 20 of my daily publishing experiment. What I’ve learned (or remembered) so far:

    • Self-trust is built by taking action. On some days I woke up stressed out, thinking “I have no clue what I’ll post about today”. But then I start writing, and the post reveals itself on the page every single time. After experiencing that several times, the fear of posting (or not being able to write anything) is fading away. In other words: action defies excuses.
    • Starting to journal (Morning Pages) over 600 days ago led to an explosion in creativity. Starting to publish a daily insight is giving me a similar boost.
    • In the past, I leaned towards bigger, longer writing projects that required a lot of energy and thinking before I produced something “valuable”. I now see there’s power in consistently writing short posts about ideas and insights, no matter how insignificant and no matter how imperfect the writing. Because through the writing, I understand them better. I remember them better. And I’m confident that over time, from all these small insights, bigger ideas will emerge.

    In short, a pattern I’ve observed many time in the past years is playing out again:

    When I start defying my own excuses by taking action, no matter how small, my self-trust grows, my self-image shifts, and I become more of the person I want to be.

    Which begs the question:

    Where else am I frustrated, holding on to a static identity of the past that I could prove wrong by taking action?

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    #100 There are by-products. And then there’s what matters.

    ByLukas

    The moment you stop doing things for what they can give you, and start doing things for who you become through doing them, is the moment you get everything you ever wanted.

    Lukas Van Vyve

    I don’t write a blog post every day just to have a pile of posts on the blog.

    I write because writing is what makes me a writer. And I enjoy being a writer very much.

    The blog posts are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.

    I don’t practice Stream Of Consciousness journaling every day to write beautiful prose, poems or have amazing insights.

    I do it because it calms the mind. Because my life is better with it than without.

    And because doing something for 700 days straight shows me that I, too, am becoming a disciplined person. And I enjoy being a disciplined person very much.

    The occasional insights are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.

    I don’t practice the guitar so I can show the world how well I play.

    I play because it’s fun to practice something hard and feel a sense of improvement.

    And because practicing the guitar makes me a musician. And I enjoy being a musician very much.

    Being able to play a beautiful piece is just a by-product. Pleasant. But a byproduct.

    There are by-products. And then there’s what matters.

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