#240 It’s not about you. It’s not about me.

Thinking about writing makes the writing harder.

Dreaming about writing makes the writing harder.

Planning my writing sessions makes the writing harder.

But writing… that makes the writing easier.

Because most things become easier when you actually do them instead of just think about them.

Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

And so the pressure mounts.

Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

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Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

Why is this important to you?

What do you stand to gain?

Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

(❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

Bottom line:

Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.