#240 It’s not about you. It’s not about me.

You’re likely to encounter consistency challenges.

After all, nobody feels motivated every day.

Maybe you’ll have a day where you’re busy or not feeling great, and writing, running, or doing yoga, seems like the last thing you want to do.

Luckily, you don’t need to feel motivated to write one sentence.

You don’t even need to want to write to have words appear on the screen or paper.

You just need to be reminded that you want to be a writer.

And writers write, even if they don’t feel like it.

And so it goes for runners, yogis, meditators, athletes, crafstmen, lovers.

To become consistent, you have to go beyond wanting. You have to need it.

It’s not about figuring out where you’d like to end up – it’s about deciding where you must go.

It’s about creating a driving force within yourself.

A commitment so strong that you can’t ignore it anymore.

When you do what you love, there are no more excuses that “you’d rather be doing something else.”

Which means there are no more excuses not to give it your best.

Being away from your that shelter of excuses can be scary. Or liberating. The choice is yours.

You build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.

I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.

I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.

But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.

I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.

I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.

There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:

When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.

Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.

Trust you must.

The other day you asked about my favorite words.

But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

Consider this one:

“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

• Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
• Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
• Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

How would I feel about myself…

How would I look at myself?

What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

Which obstacles would I have conquered?

Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

And just like that, with my imagination set free

internal resistance melting away

off I go

finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

• Because it helps me slow down.
• Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
• Because I feel calm after writing them.
• Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
• Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?