#464 It’s not about what you should do

Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

And so the pressure mounts.

Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

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Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

Most people are kind at heart and would be happy to help you – and other people – out all the time if only, you know, just like you, they didn’t have a life of their own full of obligations, dreams, passions, and worries. In other words, a life that doesn’t entirely revolve around being at your service.

I don’t know if that always holds for everyone, my friend. And it’s not a free pass for selfishness or treating others poorly.

But I do like to believe it’s mainly a mental bandwidth challenge and that deep down, people always want to help.

Because it makes me more understanding and empathetic. For other people’s behavior and my own.

After all, it’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about us all.

When technology and AI outpace us and we can’t be the best, smartest, fastest, strongest on the planet anymore – will we still care about our economic output?

When results have become irrelevant, what are the things I will still want to do?

Maybe we’ll rediscover value in our actions themselves and the pleasure and pain they make us feel – happy, sad, useful, worthless, brimming with purpose, overflowing with self-hatred…?

Will I still write just because I enjoy writing, even if AI could write a better-researched, more insightful book than I ever could?

Will I still learn a language just because learning a language makes me feel good, even if I could use an instant translation device to talk to anyone in the world?

Will I still spend my days in an office cubicle if that’s a painful prospect?

An era of soul-searching is coming.

The writer who never publishes.

The runner who avoids competition.

The entrepreneur who never launches a product.

What’s the one thing you’re avoiding very hard, but if you’d do it anyway, your life would get much easier?

When the going gets tough
When I bite the dust
Trust I must

Trust I must
That the purpose I feel inside
The calling from which I can no longer hide
Is a reliable guide

Trust I must
That the vision I hold dear
Is enough to conquer my fear
and persevere

Trust I must
That the words I say
The actions I take every day
Won’t lead me astray

Trust I must
That I am not alone
And that this calling
Will bring me home

Trust I must
Every day
That this is the path
This is my way