#535 No one knows what they’re doing
No one really knows what they’re doing, no matter how loud they shout.
So don’t have to know what you’re doing yet before you start out.
Isn’t that a reassuring thought?
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#72 Contrast
ByLukasWithout sadness, how do I know I’m happy?
Without happiness, how do I know I’m sad?
Without anger, how do I know I’m grateful?
Without gratitude, how do I know I’m angry?
Without pain, how do I know what pleasure feels like?
Without pleasure, how do I know I’m in pain?
Without bad moments, how can I appreciate the good ones?
Without good moments, what gets me through the bad ones?
Contrast.
#110 Unexamined feelings
ByLukasI may say I am bored – but what do I feel?
I may say I am angry – but what do I feel?
I may say I am in love – but what do I feel?
What does my body say?
Can I examine my feelings a different way?
Can I escape the tragedy of the spoken word?
Can I resist unconscious categorization and re-learn to listen to what’s behind the language?
#51 Reversing the causal arrow
ByLukasWho is the person who has already done (or is already doing) what you want to do?
What does their life look like?
Where are they?
What do they say, think feel?
What do they focus on?
Who did they have to become?
What would life be like if YOU have already done (or are already doing) what you want to do?
It’s hard to achieve change if you’re stuck in your current identity (where you haven’t achieved that change yet).
Using your imagination to reverse the causal arrow can help you get out of that rut.
First imagine what it feels like to have already achieved (or to be already doing) something.
Then choose your present actions according to that feeling and identity.
Let every action you take help you become more of who you want to be.
#114 Tiny Trust Builders
ByLukasEvery time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).
Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.
There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.
I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.
I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.
I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.
Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.
Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.
So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.
The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.
#67 Caffè sospeso
ByLukasIn working-class cafés in Napoli, people who experienced good luck often buy a coffee, then another one “pending”, which the barista can serve to anyone at his own discretion: a caffè sospeso.
A symbol of social trust and solidarity. Or, in the hands of marketeers and big coffee chains, a tool for increasing sales.
Regardless, it’s an act minimal enough to not to turn the donor into a hero, and small enough not to affect the receiver’s self-worth.
If such accessible acts of generosity make the donor feel good, and the receiver of a free coffee too…
And if it’s something almost everyone can do, not just billionaire philanthropists…
It’s an initiative worth spreading. Maybe not only for coffee.
#329 The journey to overcoming self-doubt
ByLukasMy journey to overcoming self-doubt as a writer:
- I write every day, even when I didn’t feel inspired.
- I publish imperfect work every day, and saw nothing bad happened.
- I publish frequently to reduce the “burden of quality” on each piece (if I publish every day, it doesn’t matter if some posts don’t do so well, because I’ll post again tomorrow anyway.
In short: write and publish to overcome the fear of writing and publishing. Yes, it can be as simple as that.