#123 Never again

ByLukas
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What gets you going – and what keeps you going?

Pain. Pleasure. Usually, a combination of both.

I like being disciplined – it gives me pleasure.

I also know very well that I don’t want to go back to jumping from one project to another, giving up before reaching any meaningful level of skill or results, and ending up frustrated with myself – the thought alone is painful.

The pain often gets you going, later to be joined by pleasure in a cocktail of motivation, discipline, and persistence.

And in this case, strong emotions, passion, and yes, also pain, often lead to more leverage – if you allow yourself to see the lessons it can teach you.

I never want to be that person again – which helped me figure out that I really want to be this person.

Living your never again might well help you figure out your yes, for as long as I shall live.

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    #46 Feigned feelings

    ByLukas

    feigned feelings lead to forced forging
    of a bond, brittle, easily broken

    but when i learn to listen
    to the winds whirling within
    stop seeing them as a sin

    when i hold them back no more
    forceful feelings finally roar
    revealing a hidden song
    sung secretly for so long

    my true self set free
    softly I breathe
    my melody into your mind
    feelings mingle, sometimes grind
    leaving the shyness far behind

    and hearing our songs entwined
    I am no longer blind
    to the insight
    that we’ve been singing the same song
    of a wordless world where we all belong

    at last I feel strong
    for we were always one
    blessed by a bond
    that can’t be undone

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #92 The true purpose of memory

    ByLukas

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

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    #214 Who’s in charge right now?

    ByLukas

    Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

    I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

    The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

    The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

    The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

    The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

    So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

    Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

    It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

    And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

    So I invite you to give it a try.

    Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

    Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

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    #238 A path paved by Tiny Trust Builders

    ByLukas

    My actions affect my identity and beliefs.

    And my identity and beliefs affect which actions I take.

    So, to change, I must consciously take actions that divert from my established identity and beliefs, and do what you believe is impossible for yourself.

    Until it’s not impossible anymore.

    It’s not an easy road, my friend. It takes courage. Effort. Sometimes pain.

    Many times, it’s not worth it.

    But sometimes, there’s no other way.

    And in those moments, it’s good to know there’s always someone willing to show you a path, paved by Tiny Trust Builders, taking you wherever you want to go.

    Since you’re reading my letters, that someone could be me, my friend.

    Or anyone else you know.

    I guess all I want to say is: you’re not in this alone.

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