#123 Never again

ByLukas
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What gets you going – and what keeps you going?

Pain. Pleasure. Usually, a combination of both.

I like being disciplined – it gives me pleasure.

I also know very well that I don’t want to go back to jumping from one project to another, giving up before reaching any meaningful level of skill or results, and ending up frustrated with myself – the thought alone is painful.

The pain often gets you going, later to be joined by pleasure in a cocktail of motivation, discipline, and persistence.

And in this case, strong emotions, passion, and yes, also pain, often lead to more leverage – if you allow yourself to see the lessons it can teach you.

I never want to be that person again – which helped me figure out that I really want to be this person.

Living your never again might well help you figure out your yes, for as long as I shall live.

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#110 Unexamined feelings

ByLukas

I may say I am bored – but what do I feel?

I may say I am angry – but what do I feel?

I may say I am in love – but what do I feel?

What does my body say?

Can I examine my feelings a different way?

Can I escape the tragedy of the spoken word?

Can I resist unconscious categorization and re-learn to listen to what’s behind the language?

#320 Before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.

ByLukas

Before it can be about good writing, it must be about consistent writing.

Before it can be about running PRs, it must be about running consistently.

Before it can be about , it must be about being in that yoga pose in the first place.

Before it can be about fulfilment, it must be about doing something that fulfills you in the first place.

Before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.

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#24 Put your actions where your mouth is

ByLukas

Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

And that’s how we get out of a rut.

(The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

  1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
    “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
  2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
    “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
  3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
    This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
    So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
  4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

Which begs the question…

Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

Lukas Van Vyve

Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

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