#243 Mending the Misunderstanding

ByLukas
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We all live in a maze of mistranslations and misunderstandings about who we think you are and who others think we are.

Now, by lack of a way to know who we truly are, misunderstandings can be comforting, my friend; there’s no doubt about that.

But when you get so lost in the maze that it causes suffering, it might be time to start mending the misunderstandings.

Could it be that mending is nothing more than making another mistranslation about who we are that makes us happier?

After all, I can perceive myself as a struggling writer or a skilled wordsmith – both perspectives hold their truths.

It’s the power of our misunderstandings that molds our reality.

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#130 The perfect excuse

ByLukas

Perfectionism is the perfect excuse for not showing up.

If you don’t publish because you’re waiting for the perfect blog post, you’ll hide behind your desk forever – because there’ll always be something you can improve.

If you don’t go for a walk because you’re waiting for the perfect weather, you’ll be stuck forever inside – because there’ll always be a day with more sunshine or a nicer breeze.

If you wait to live the life you desire until you have the perfect age, amount of money, degree, or partner, you’ll wait until it’s too late to enjoy your life in the first place.

If you know things will never be perfect anyway, and you’re not allowed to wait until they’re perfect, or even until they’re “good enough”…

What could you start doing today? What have you been putting off?

#154 When results have become irrelevant

ByLukas

When technology and AI outpace us and we can’t be the best, smartest, fastest, strongest on the planet anymore – will we still care about our economic output?

When results have become irrelevant, what are the things I will still want to do?

Maybe we’ll rediscover value in our actions themselves and the pleasure and pain they make us feel – happy, sad, useful, worthless, brimming with purpose, overflowing with self-hatred…?

Will I still write just because I enjoy writing, even if AI could write a better-researched, more insightful book than I ever could?

Will I still learn a language just because learning a language makes me feel good, even if I could use an instant translation device to talk to anyone in the world?

Will I still spend my days in an office cubicle if that’s a painful prospect?

An era of soul-searching is coming.

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#24 Put your actions where your mouth is

ByLukas

Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

And that’s how we get out of a rut.

(The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

  1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
    “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
  2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
    “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
  3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
    This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
    So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
  4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

Which begs the question…

Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

Lukas Van Vyve

Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

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#267 Why intensity fades and consistency leads to change

ByLukas

When you write 50 pages a day, only to be forced to recover for a month.

When you start running 5 miles a day without any preparation, only to end up injured.

When you start studying a language for 5 hours a day, only to give up after a week.

When you fly so close to the sun, your wings melt.

When intensity and excitement radiate too brightly, and the reality of life suddenly slaps you in the face.

That’s when you start appreciating the slow, steady flame of consistency that burns long and becomes brighter over time.

And that’s when you’ll see lasting change.

#340 This is all you have to do today

ByLukas

You may want to be a published, acclaimed author, or an online writer with a massive audience. But today, all you have to do is write.

You may want to be the best marathon runner in your country. But today, all you have to do is go for one run.

Whatever lofty vision you have for yourself, today, all you have to do is take one tiny step, one Tiny Trust Builder moving you closer to the person you want to be.

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#131 Goals are not about achievement

ByLukas

The purpose of goals is not achieving them.

It’s giving direction to your current actions.

And that’s what makes them different from a dreams.

Now. If goals give direction to current actions…

And current actions overrule your current beliefs and shape your identity…

Then goals shape who you are today, tomorrow, and who you’ll be long after achieving them.

The achievement is fleeting, the personality change lasting.

Choose wisely.

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