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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #105 The Fulfillment Formula

    My sense of fulfillment comes from taking daily actions that are aligned with a personal philosophy and a purpose I intentionally determine.

    As life unfolds, my purpose can change. My values can change. I can feel over the moon, dreadful, and everything in between.

    My daily actions can change (and they certainly won’t always be aligned with my personal philosophy).

    But the fulfillment formula always stays the same.

    Are the majority of my daily actions in alignment with my purpose, values, and the identity I want to forge?

    A consequence of this formula: Without clear purpose, without consciously choosing values or designing a personal philosophy, without knowing what you stand for and who you choose to be, it’s hard to feel fulfilled.

    In short: intentional, aligned, disciplined living and identity building helps to feel fulfilled.

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    #60 Memory is context

    Memory is context – in language and in general.

    Context of words surrounded by other words and sounds within a sentence.

    • apple orchard

    Context of words surrounded by actions – actor, action, object affected (in whatever way or order your mother tongue expresses it).

    • I pick an apple from the tree.

    Context of words and the images they spur.

    • An apple falls on Newton’ head.
    • An apple falls off a tree in my grandparents’ garden.
    • I bite into a green apple – a bit sour. I don’t like it.
    • The first time I combine an apple part with peanut butter. Delicious.

    Context of words and the feelings they evoke.

    • I’m thirsty and hungry after a volleyball game. The first bite of an apple – what a relief.
    • My grandpa cuts an apple and gives me a part. Safety. Home.
    • I eat 2 apples and my mouth starts itching. Allergy? Fear.

    When learning another language, you can link words to the context of your mother tongue.

    But to truly understand them, you’ll have to create a new context too.

    For example, an apple in Spanish: una manzana.

    Seemingly the same object, now perceived through new sounds.

    • huerto de manzanas (apple orchard)

    New actions.

    • Yo limpio una manzana. (I wash/clean an apple.)

    New images.

    • I see una manzana in a Mexican supermarket. Someone is polishing it with wax to make it extra shiny. The first time I saw was in Mexico. So I didn’t see the guy polishing an apple. Vi a un hombre encerando una manzana. (I saw a guy putting wax on an apple.)

    New feelings.

    • Compré una manzana (I bought an apple) and ate it without washing it well. My stomach wasn’t happy with my actions.

    Keeping all that in mind, are we really still talking about the same object? Is the Spanish manzana encerada that made me sick in Spanish the same as the apple my grandpa helped me pick? If it is, do I now have a richer perception of that object that once up on a time, I could only interact with through the limits of one language?

    Learning vocabulary lists with isolated words will never get you fluent in a foreign language.

    If you don’t build a new context of sounds, actions, images, feelings, you’ll always keep imposing your mother tongue on the foreign language.

    That’s why you can’t just learn a foreign language. You have to live it.

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    #58 Pre-verbal

    There used to be a time when you didn’t have words for your feelings. You just felt them.

    You didn’t have words to say that your parents are your parents. You just knew it.

    You didn’t have words for the sounds other humans made. Like singing birds, a buzzing bumblebee, or a rolling thunder, it was all just vibrating air.

    What was your experience of reality like before words started categorizing, abstracting and limiting what you could see, hear, touch and feel?

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