#226 Making all the selves get along

ByLukas
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“Is this really important right now?” I ask myself, as another distraction passes through my head.

I imagine an old wise man, disturbed from his task at hand, looking up.

“No? Can you come back later then, at a more appropriate time? Thank you very much.”

Back to work he goes.

“Is this really a life-threatening event?” I ask myself, as another anxiety-inducing thought intrudes my mind.

I imagine the same old wise man, fending off a harassing distraction.

“No? Can you come back with a message more appropriate to the severity of the event? Thank you very much.”

On with life he goes.

If only it were that easy, my friend.

The distracted, anxious, worried mind tends to fight back. I’m taking the liberty to assume you’ve also noticed that at some point in your life.

Nevertheless, I believe we can, nay, we must fight back.

Not that I’m advocating suppression.

Excited, worried, sanguine, anxious, passionate, defeated: let them have their moment of attention – at the appropriate time.

Maybe it’s all about the art of making all the selves get along?

I imagine the old wise man, who has mastered that art.

I know I’m not that old wise man yet.

But I could be, if I make it a point to practice every day.

And so could you, if you make it a point to practice every day.

If that’s something that’s important to you, of course. That’s for you to decide, in your personal situation and in your personal life.

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    #113 Make space

    ByLukas

    Actions overrule thoughts, and sometimes the best creative act – and the one requiring the most discipline – is doing nothing.

    Because when you slow down your pace, suddenly you realize: there’s space.

    There’s space for the thoughts and feelings you were so afraid to face.

    There’s space to redirect the energy you’ve misplaced.

    There’s space to rediscover everything that escaped your gaze while you were engaged in an endless rat race.

    There’s space for you to remember
    that before you learned not to listen
    and constant distraction erased every trace
    of the insights you so desperately chase
    there was a place of stillness
    a warm embrace
    where all the answers were right there, in your face

    Only when you’ve slowed down your mind’s pace
    you realize
    you were never out of place
    you were navigating a self-inflicted maze
    with only one way out:

    Make space.

  • |

    #80 Replacing sensations with words

    ByLukas

    First I feel.

    Then I learn to categorize those feelings with words – until at some point, I don’t feel sensations anymore. I feel words.

    I say I’m angry – but what does being angry feel like again?

    I say I’m happy – but which sensations rush through my body?

    I say I’m sad – but does sadness always feel the same?

    With sensations comes nuance.

  • | |

    #158 Voting fraud doesn’t exist

    ByLukas

    Voting fraud doesn’t exist in your body and mind.

    You can’t cheat your way into being a writer. Your body and mind count every word as a vote for being a writer.

    You can’t cheat your way into being a runner. Your body and mind count every every stride as a vote for being a runner.

    You can’t cheat your way into being healthy. Your body and mind count every nutrient.

    Luckily, you don’t need a landslide to change your identity. A simple majority is enough to make the power balance tip over.

    Tiny Trust Builders.

  • |

    #29 The myth of self-sabotage

    ByLukas

    All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.

    So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.

    In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.

    Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.

    Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.

    Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).

    Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.

    If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?

    Or even better than just asking: journal about it.

  • | |

    #86 Practice daily, measure progress on average

    ByLukas

    The article I publish today may be worse than one I wrote 2 months ago.

    I may struggle today with a guitar piece I played effortlessly last week.

    And when I meditate today, my mind may be all over the place, even though last week it was calm as water.

    On any given day, I may feel that I’m making progress, that I’ve reached a plateau, or even that I’m going backwards.

    But it doesn’t matter.

    Progress isn’t always visible in daily practice. But without daily practice, there is no progress.

    If I stick to daily practice, on average, I’ll get better. I’ll start having more good days than bad. And slowly but surely, my ‘bad days’ will start being better than what I consider a ‘good day’ right now.

    Progress, averaged out is what it’s all about.

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