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  • #5 How did I ever let that stop me?

    The other day you asked about my favorite words.

    But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

    Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

    Consider this one:

    Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?

    This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

    • Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
    • Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
    • Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

    And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

    “Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

    Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

    “What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

    How would I feel about myself…

    How would I look at myself?

    What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

    Which obstacles would I have conquered?

    Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

    And just like that, with my imagination set free

    internal resistance melting away

    off I go

    finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

    P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

    Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

    • Because it helps me slow down.
    • Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
    • Because I feel calm after writing them.
    • Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
    • Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

    P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

    Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

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    #92 The true purpose of memory

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

  • #323 It’s about the way you say…

    It’s about the way you say, “I’m tired, and I’m here anyway.”

    It’s about the way you say, “I’m exhausted, I’m skipping this one, and that’s okay, because I’ll be back on track the next day.”

    It’s about the way you say, “Come what may, I’m in this, and from my chosen path, I won’t be led astray.”

    It’s about intentionality and elastic discipline.

    It’s about direction.

    Most of all, it’s about feeling good, not guilty.

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    #160 Flipping limiting beliefs

    The same beliefs that tell you “I could never write consistently. I could never run consistently. I could never meditate consistently. That’s just not me.” can be flipped on its head.

    “I can’t not write consistently – that’s just not me.”

    I can’t not eat healthily consistently – that’s just not me.”

    “I can’t not meditate consistently – that’s just not me.”

    All it takes is overruling your thoughts through consistent actions.

    Consistent votes for your new identity.

    Consistent Tiny Trust Builders.

    Soon, the scale will tip.

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    #162 Maintaining the majority

    If you write more consistently than you don’t write, you’re a writer.

    If you run more consistently than you don’t run, you’re a runner.

    And while every action you take is a vote for who you want to be, you don’t need 100% of the votes to build a habit or adopt an identity.

    It’s okay to slip up, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to make a mistake – as long as you cast enough votes in favor of your desired identity.

    Don’t be a hardliner nor a totalitarian. Be disciplined without fearing the occasional laps.

    Focus on maintaining the majority.

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