#156 Making the future just a little brighter

ByLukas
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A compelling vision of who I want to be doesn’t just guide my present actions and brings me toward a fulfilling future.

It also helps me deal with the suffering that’s part of living in a complex physical body with a complex mind in a complex society in a complex, uncontrollable world.

Because no matter how strong my vision or purpose is, and no matter what I do or say, inevitable hardship will happen anyway.

So if I know why I’m doing what I do, why I’m going where I go, and why I’m becoming who I want to be, then hopefully, when life gets rough, I’ll react in a better way.

I’ll trust myself to handle the unavoidable suffering.

I’ll trust myself to minimize how much I add to the suffering.

And that makes the future just a little bit brighter for me, everyone, and everything around me.

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  • #231 When everything is urgent

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    When everything is urgent, how do we know what to do first?

    One solution is adding more nuance:

    What’s the most urgent?

    What’s the most important?

    Breathing is urgent.

    A crying child is urgent.

    A toilet visit can be urgent.

    Sending that email out tonight right before bed instead of tomorrow, maybe not so much?

    Here’s the important question:

    If you’re going to prioritize the urgent matters anyway, why stress yourself out by calling everything urgent in the first place?

    Making everything urgent devalues truly urgent matters.

    Because when everything is urgent, nothing is urgent anymore.

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    #31 Ignore, then highlight more

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    A daily insight from Tony Robbins:

    Wherever focus goes, energy flows.

    Tony Robbins, https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/where-focus-goes-energy-flows/

    We’re always ignoring and highlighting parts of our experience to make sense of the world – and it determines the way we feel.

    To feel bad, you (temporarily) have to ignore all the events and things you consider positive.

    To feel good, you (temporarily) have to ignore events and circumstances that can be challenging.

    It all depends on context.

    Sometimes, just to function, it’s necessary to ignore.

    Sometimes you’re better off highlighting a bit more.

    The big challenge: most of the time, we’re not aware of where our focus goes – so we let old habits and patterns decide how we feel – even if they don’t serve us at all.

    Here’s an exercise I found useful: Tomorrow, focus on something that’s important for you once an hour (a post-it on your desk or a reminder on your phone can be useful). That way, it remains top of mind (and your energy will flow toward it).

    Every hour, also take a moment to become aware of what you’re deleting from your experience, and what you’re highlighting.

    • What am I trying to do today?
    • What am I trying to do right now?
    • What’s important to me?
    • What do I want to focus on… what do I intentionally ignore?
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    #257 Not pleasant, but predictable

    ByLukas

    Getting worked up about traffic jams is not pleasant, but it’s predictable. And addictive.

    So is giving up on writing a book, quitting a workout regime, and re-living any conflict or failure.

    Not pleasant. But predictable.

    This is how you’ve always felt. And this is how you’ll always feel – unless you become aware of the unpleasant, predictable, addictive patterns and decide to act differently.

    Not only once, not twice, but every time you become aware of the pattern until you’ve built enough self-trust that you know the unpleasant predictable events aren’t inevitable.

  • #441 Changing path is not a spur-of-the-moment thing

    ByLukas

    You may decide to change path in the spur of a moment.

    But to keep moving in that new direction, you’ll have to reaffirm your decision many times.

    Day by day, taking actions that pave the new path.

    Day by day, making decisions that keep you on the new path.

    Day by day.

    Step by step.

    Until the new path isn’t the new path anymore, but just the path.

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    #218 The United States of “If I wanted, I could”

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    The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant. 

    Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

    That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.

    Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?

    Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?

    Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?

    Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?

    I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization. 

    Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.

    But even if they were, it doesn’t matter. 

    Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.

    Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”

    Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.

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    #28 Write anyway – then write some more

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    Think you don’t have any good ideas to write about? Write anyway. Then write some more. The ideas might well reveal themselves on the page. (Morning Pages are good for this)

    Have an idea but struggle to put it into words? Write anyway… Then write some more.

    Struggling to edit your work and get it to a level where you believe it’s “publish-worthy”? Publish it anyway. especially when it’s imperfect. Once you see nothing bad happens when there’s a typo or an awkward sentence, your self-trust grows, your editing will become less judgmental, and your creativity will soar.

    Scared of publishing your work, being judged, being seen? Publish anyway. Then publish some more. When you increase your publishing frequency, there’s less burden on that one post, video, book, piece of art.

    You can only overcome the objections your mind invents by not letting them stop you from sculpting away, day by day.

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