#134 Losing makes you a loser – and that’s fine

ByLukas
|

You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.

But you CAN:

  • stop caring about winning and losing in the first place; or
  • change your definition of winning and losing so winning becomes easier, and losing harder.

What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?

What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?

What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?

Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.

Similar Posts

  • |

    #313 Keep it Achievable, Pleasurable, Sustainable

    ByLukas

    I’ve been publishing daily posts for 300+ days now.

    The secret?

    Writing less.

    • I don’t want to spend hours writing daily posts, so I keep them short.

    • I don’t want to drag myself to a 4-day writing session to create all posts for the coming week in advance (then not write for the rest of the week)

    • I don’t want to set writing goals that are painful to reach and make me feel burnt out.

    • I do want to write a little bit every day, so I prove to myself every single day that I’m a writer.

    • I do want to feel that writing that daily post is achievable and fun.

    • I do want to build momentum.

    Keep it achievable. Keep it pleasurable. Keep it sustainable.

    In other words: Tiny Trust Builders.

  • |

    #221 How to appease the worrier mind

    ByLukas

    How likely is the scenario you’re worrying about?
    And how impactful or life-threatening is that scenario?
    Now, how much mental bandwidth is worrying about it taking up?
    Are your worries proportionate to the actual danger?
    Should you be worrying at all?
    If not, could you stop right away?

    Of course, you and I both know that’s not always how it works, my friend.

    Because even if we know rationally that we shouldn’t worry, the worrier mind tends to scoff at answering rational questions.

    Yet today, I had an insight: maybe those questions aren’t meant to dismiss the worrier mind at all but empower the sane mind, temporarily suppressed and overpowered?

    Maybe they can provide enough encouragement to make the sane mind stand up for itself again and say, “Enough is enough.”

    Maybe that way, the sane mind will put the worrier mind back in its place, reminding it of the only task where it truly shines: protect us from life-threatening risks.

    Or maybe not. I don’t know, my friend. You’ve seen me: I’m just another human with good days and bad—productive days and lazy. Days of irrational fears and worry, and days of relaxing, dreaming, and visioning.

    But this I do know: worrying too much has never improved my mood, and I doubt it has ever improved yours.

    So if you’ve had an overactive worrier mind lately, trying won’t hurt.

    Let me know how it goes.

  • | |

    #39 Knowledge transfer and time collapse

    ByLukas

    Knowledge transfer always implies time collapse. Because learning an insight from someone else usually takes less long than figuring it out yourself.

    Take books. The writer usually spent considerable time researching and distilling the topic and coming to good insights (time I might not be able to dedicate).

    Thanks to that writer, I can now consume that knowledge in, say 6-12 hours of reading the book. A considerable time collapse…

    But when does time collapse go to far?

    Can I read a 1-page summary of that book and truly say I grasp the topic?

    When your brain gets space to breathe, knowledge grows and nuance shows. It needs time and repeated exposure to absorb information, make connections, and discover new insights.

    So a one-page summary isn’t necessarily too shallow… On the contrary: it collapses time so much that information becomes very dense.

    What with the evolution towards short-form online content? The primary purpose of TikTok videos and Instagram reels might be to entertain, but the trend is clear and spills over into education, our attention span, and knowledge transfer: shorter, more shallow, yet more dense.

    Too little time collapse and we can’t make progress.
    Too much time collapse and knowledge collapses with it.

One Comment

  1. This is such a great insight for those who are naturally competitive and are afraid to try things because they are afraid they can’t win! That “must win” attitude can spoil an activity for the whole group. Thanks for saying it so clearly!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *