#514 Lick your wounds
Lick your wounds.
Learn the lessons.
Stop yourself from going astray.
Stay the course.
Come what may.
Tomorrow is another day.
Similar Posts
#488 Start doing it to create proof and belief
ByLukasYou don’t need proof that you can do it to start doing it.
You have to start doing it to create the proof.
You don’t need to believe you can do it to start doing it.
You have to start doing it to create the belief.
#3 Trust issues and the Completion Paradox
ByLukasStarting a new habit seems to come with three universal “self-trust issues”:
Trust in my Intentions. “Do I even have the time for this? Does making time for this make me selfish… Is it even good for me to spend time on this, out of all the priorities in life? Will this do me in any good in the long term?”
Trust in my Ability to follow through. “I’ll probably give up at the first opportunity, and then beat myself up again for not following through.”
Trust in my Skills. “Am I even good enough? I don’t notice any improvement, I don’t think this is working for me. I don’t think I can do this.”
(Source: Eben Pagan)
And even though I’ve slowly been gaining trust across all three dimensions in the past two years…
Whenever I start something new – like publishing a daily insight – the same trust issues resurface.
“Trust in my ability to follow through” is a particularly tough cookie. Not a day goes by without a self-defeating and endlessly annoying voice whispering in my ear: “Go ahead, try me. See how long you last before you return with another habit you gave up on…”
Which leads me to the Completion Paradox:
Trust in my ability to complete things is not a prerequisite to get started. It’s earned through getting started in the first place and then, slowly, but surely, day by day, following through. Completing something every single day. Proving to myself that I can, in fact, trust myself to follow through. Building up that self-trust every day through tiny trust builders.
So… the questions I keep in mind today:
- How can I bring my positive habit-building experiences from the past, and the trust I built into this new activity?
- What would it feel like if, instead of spoiling the fun of starting this daily publishing with nagging self-doubt, waiting for the “inevitable moment where I’ll give up”… I celebrate each time I’m following through and see it as another step closer to a new habit… another step closer to self-trust?
Taking it one step further:
- What would it feel like to have this new habit in place already? How would I act if I already had enough trust that no matter what happens, even if I miss a day, or even a week, I’ll return back to daily publishing?
And with those questions in mind, I realize a simple thought can put my mind at ease…
“It’s all fine… I’ve been through this before.”
Because when my dreams start drowning in doubts
And desire turns into despair
When I suddenly see what I always had in me
Who I could be
Yet my thoughts already declare defeat
I step back
Look back
Feel back
And when at last I notice
That day by day,
I’m finally unleashing the calling I’ve always ignored
I remind myself
It’s all fine. I’ve been through this before.#213 Comfortable dissatisfaction
ByLukasYou’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.
You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.
You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.
Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.
Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.
But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.
So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.
And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.
Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.
#509 There’s no way you won’t grow
ByLukasYou may win, lose, fly high, fall low
You may have it easy or hard
But come what may
There is no way you won’t grow.
#383 A counterintuitive approach to skill building
ByLukasWith how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇
1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.
Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.
Why is this important to you?
What do you stand to gain?
Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?
(❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)
2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.
In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:
Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?
Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?
Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).
This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.
But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.
3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.
Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:
👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…Bottom line:
Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.
It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.
#370 Skipping the writing is not an option
ByLukasOnce you’ve been writing daily for long enough, continuing to write is the easier option, more aligned with your habits and identity.
Just like for most people, it feels more natural to continue brushing their teeth every day than to skip a day.
But when you’re still building the writing habit, skipping the writing is the easier option.
Which means it shouldn’t be an option at all — until it has become an option you’re not interested in anymore.